Well a nightmare occurred in my home tonight. You can't really name anyone specific to blame since we all lost it. My 5 months old half sister was being really ill since she was sick and wanted someone to hold her. My mom was busy & I was tired of watching her after nearly 5 hours today. I gave her to my step dad (her father). He then started running his mouth about how my moms got her spoiled to where she wants to be held all the time now. I was stressed out at the time from her temper tantrums so I called her a spoiled brat as well. He then brought up that I was a spoiled brat as well and that he was never raised the way we're raised. Hes always running his mouth about me. ALWAYS. Every day he says something negative about me. I lost it. Even though it was my fault as well, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I knocked one of my sisters toys out of my way and slammed my door really hard before I did something even worse. My mom then grabbed my sister from him by the sounds of it & asked what was going on and them 2 got into an argument bout the whole thing. Next thing I know hes trying to beat her up while shes holding my sister so my mom puts her in her play pen and she starts screaming like crazy while them 2 nearly go at it. I lost it COMPLETELY then, stormed out of my room and nearly pounced him and punched him hard. He then turns around, hits me & then pushes me backwards nearly hitting the wall hard if my mom hadn't had got in the way. I tried to swing a punch back at him and he tried to swing one at me as well. She kicked him out & told me that she was sick of my face and to go in my room & stay there. She also told me that everything was my fault. Everything is always my fault.
Regardless of other things hes doing to hurt her like cheating on her & calling her negative things everyday as well, she still stays with him for his money & to have a way around since she can't really drive. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of her dating assholes that call us both names & try to fight us. You can think of this whole situation as a teen angst thing, I don't give a fuck, but if you only knew how this has all been building up in me over the years. My mom has got it in her head now that shes worthless & needs a guy to make it in this world. I don't want her thinking like that. I'm tired of her living a life I know she dreads waking up to everyday just as much as me! Hell.. Probably more than me. Shes just better at hiding it & tolerating shit than I am. I've done been through so much when it comes to taking names all my life and getting physically hurt by people. Most people nowadays think I'm a bitch for being that way. I don't care. I rather come off as a bitch than tolerate anymore of what I've already been through from people. I want a change. I'm tired of the way life has been since my parents divorced.
Now things around here are going to be awkward since he ended up coming back for now. He only came back cause of my sister.. As harsh as it sounds, I wish she would have never been born into this cold dark hateful life we're all living. I told my mom to get an abortion or at least put her up for adoption when I found out she was pregnant. She thought of me being selfish by saying that and ignored me when with all honesty I knew a day like this would come. I knew that he still wouldn't change and that there would only be just 1 more extra member that has to live through this. Her being around only makes things harder cause we all try to be a sugarcoated happy family for her sakes but we just loose it to much cause we're NOT a happy family. As a matter of fact we're not even a family. We're just people living together in fear of being alone & broke. I've said it a lot but I'll say it again.. I'M TIRED OF IT. Yeah things can be worse & some may have it worse but I just don't give a fuck right now. I wasn't even gonna post anything bout it on here but I know I better so I can at least sleep some. Pfft. Staying up as much as I can though to avoid waking up to another tomorrow.
Perhaps I should also mention how my mom claims hes "joking around". I don't like how he jokes around. Insults and provocative stuff are his humor & a nearly 16 year old girl shouldn't be dealing with that from a 40 year old man. He'll wrap his arms around me, rub my legs, slide his hand in my shirt nearly & smack my butt as joking around. I don't like being joked around that way! I tell my mom but she just tells me to gain a sense of humor. What kind of bloody humor is that!? Not to mention that he barely takes care of my sister. He may work all the time but he still has a daughter. He should deal with the consequences of bringing life into the world by being there for her more. He hasn't fed her nor changed her diaper since she was 2 months old I don't think.. I'm doing more than hes doing!!! I'm practically raising his daughter that doesn't even have the same DNA as me.
Random Edit:
A song that matches me pretty well would be Because of You - Kelly Clarkson. =___=
Regardless of other things hes doing to hurt her like cheating on her & calling her negative things everyday as well, she still stays with him for his money & to have a way around since she can't really drive. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of her dating assholes that call us both names & try to fight us. You can think of this whole situation as a teen angst thing, I don't give a fuck, but if you only knew how this has all been building up in me over the years. My mom has got it in her head now that shes worthless & needs a guy to make it in this world. I don't want her thinking like that. I'm tired of her living a life I know she dreads waking up to everyday just as much as me! Hell.. Probably more than me. Shes just better at hiding it & tolerating shit than I am. I've done been through so much when it comes to taking names all my life and getting physically hurt by people. Most people nowadays think I'm a bitch for being that way. I don't care. I rather come off as a bitch than tolerate anymore of what I've already been through from people. I want a change. I'm tired of the way life has been since my parents divorced.
Now things around here are going to be awkward since he ended up coming back for now. He only came back cause of my sister.. As harsh as it sounds, I wish she would have never been born into this cold dark hateful life we're all living. I told my mom to get an abortion or at least put her up for adoption when I found out she was pregnant. She thought of me being selfish by saying that and ignored me when with all honesty I knew a day like this would come. I knew that he still wouldn't change and that there would only be just 1 more extra member that has to live through this. Her being around only makes things harder cause we all try to be a sugarcoated happy family for her sakes but we just loose it to much cause we're NOT a happy family. As a matter of fact we're not even a family. We're just people living together in fear of being alone & broke. I've said it a lot but I'll say it again.. I'M TIRED OF IT. Yeah things can be worse & some may have it worse but I just don't give a fuck right now. I wasn't even gonna post anything bout it on here but I know I better so I can at least sleep some. Pfft. Staying up as much as I can though to avoid waking up to another tomorrow.
Perhaps I should also mention how my mom claims hes "joking around". I don't like how he jokes around. Insults and provocative stuff are his humor & a nearly 16 year old girl shouldn't be dealing with that from a 40 year old man. He'll wrap his arms around me, rub my legs, slide his hand in my shirt nearly & smack my butt as joking around. I don't like being joked around that way! I tell my mom but she just tells me to gain a sense of humor. What kind of bloody humor is that!? Not to mention that he barely takes care of my sister. He may work all the time but he still has a daughter. He should deal with the consequences of bringing life into the world by being there for her more. He hasn't fed her nor changed her diaper since she was 2 months old I don't think.. I'm doing more than hes doing!!! I'm practically raising his daughter that doesn't even have the same DNA as me.
Random Edit:
A song that matches me pretty well would be Because of You - Kelly Clarkson. =___=
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