A noob rants

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Alexouther, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. Alexouther

    Alexouther Account Closed

    Yeah I just joined this forum but I'm just going to post.

    I'm having one of those moments where I'm pissed and I feel hopeless at the same time. You know, the kind where you have Evanescence on repeat and connect all the songs to your emotions?
    I can't stand it. Everyone thinks my emotions are a joke. I burn myself, My mom found out and called me selfish. She doesn't understand, hell, nobody does. My dad found out and just told me to stop.

    I'm transgendered and I recently came out. Nothing has been done to support me. Only my friends are courteous enough to use male pronouns as I request. My parents don't and when I correct them they just say it's hard to use female pronouns. I know they aren't trying.

    I have been so depressed lately. I have been crying every day which makes me feel even more insecure about who I am. because honestly, How can I possibly be a man who cries. Men don't cry right? That's what I'm told.

    My teachers notice that I don't smile so they laugh and call me smiley as a joke. I tell them not to, but they are just like "well why don't you smile?" but If I tell them they will send me to the hospital, thats the only guideline for depression they have ever had. Send people to the hospital. I can't stand this. I want to get help, support, anything. I'm so depressed and I feel alien in my own skin. I just want to escape. I feel like nothing is worth it.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi - I am so sorry you feel like this and that the people around you aren't supportive. I don't know what support there is out there for transgendered people but there must be some - maybe you need someone to help you and your family to communicate on the matter? I can only imagine that it is common for families not to understand.
    I really hope that you find someone to help you through this in real life, but until you do we are here for you. Keep posting and keep talking to us.
    *hug.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if you went to hospital they would have connections that will give you the support you need to help deal with all your emotions and help you sort through all the difficulties you are facing. The team of workers there will care and help you okay It is not right for the teacher to do what doing tell someone higher then them to stop it. Going to hospital might just be the outlet you need okay doesn't hurt to try.
     
  4. Alexouther

    Alexouther Account Closed

    I've gone before. I was so miserable there I just gave all the right answers so I could get out as soon as possible.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    mmm sabotaging is something we all do go back to hospital and get some help okay it will be worth it it will.
     
  6. Alexouther

    Alexouther Account Closed

    I don't think you understand. I joined this forum so I don't have to go to the hospital. Going to the hospital is on the bottom of the things I want or need to do. If I had a penny for each time I didn't want to go to the hospital I would have one because it is a continuous strain on NOT wanting to go to the hospital. I tried going... It sucked.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i see well i am glad you are here reaching out for support then okay keep talking and venting and getting support here.
     
  8. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    Your teachers sound selfish. I pretty much get the same kind of treatment you do from them so I know how that is. People call me the selfish one all the time though and think my emotions are a joke as well. By the way, everybody cries. Someone might say they never do, but good chance they are lying and do it secretly. Doesn't matter what gender you are. If you ever want to talk to me you can because I know most Hospitals don't often help everybody and only make you feel worser. I'm often told wrong though, I'm told wrong about everything, but its all my experience.