How can I start? To put it simply I can't just start, and now here I am on a suicide forum... I am in a constant search for self preservation and good health. I find I'm socially impaired, isolated, alone... I'm but that one in a void of zeros. I stand out as weird to many people. I have been isolated for 9 years. Painful it has been to bear. I am the type of person that is intellegent, efficient, and nearly void of emotion at times. Sortof Vulcan like you could say. However when I am really alone I can have emotional breakdowns that melt me. I can't stand it. I try to keep away negative thoughts by using my mind to the maximum by multitasking. Talking to people, watching a movie and playing two video games at the same time. Yes I'm addicted to video games. I have meet people from the other side of the world, yet I still struggle with the fact that I'm socially incompatible with all physical people. My classmates all play a video game I also play. I offered to play that game with them to; however, they awkwardly shifted the topic, ignored me, or started talking to someone else. I can't bare to take more. It is stressful too stressful. I need help, I don't know how or where. I feel like I'm missing something everyone else has by default except for me. Please help me.