I'm tired of missing you, Tired of being sad, I don't want you to think That I wouldn't wait here Forever for you to return. But spring is coming, And Mom is sick, And my husband's getting older, And my novel is calling. And it's been so very damn long Since I could enjoy just driving, Just driving and singing, Just singing and laughing. And so I am leaving you for a while. You will always be here in my heart With the tears and the sadness, Ready to bring out On special occassions, But right now my sun is up. And I feel happy And I'm tired of being sad And I know you would like it If we all sang together In the happy sunshine And stopped missing you For a day. In the 2 1/2 years since my father died, I've written a lot of dark things. But I thought I would share something I wrote when I was fighting my feelings of guilt for living, for going forward in my life. In this instance, I think I was winning that fight. My depression always hurt, and then when my father died everything hurt so much more. But we all have to keep trying--writing it down, talking about it--because we live. That's what we do. So keep going. And here's hoping the next time your sun is up, you feel free to take advantage of the time.