As the title says, this will be somewhat pointless. But what I always find is that, every time I write down my own feelings, I feel better. So let's hope it works this time round too. I honestly, seriously don't know what is wrong with me. I am 19. Have a great family with amazingly supportive and loving parents. I have a group of good friends and even though university keeps us all busy, we try to keep in touch. I have two relatively well-paid part-time jobs for my age. I try to be nice to everyone. As far as I'm aware, there's nobody that hates me out there. I'm studying what I always wanted to. I have hopes for the future and a very well-organised plan. But I'm not happy. And I don't even know why. Deep inside, I feel like there is this hole in my heart that is slowly consuming my passion and my hope. I feel like I'm becoming rotten and useless. I used to be a nice person, but now I'm becoming more competitive. I get jealous more easily. I am a lot more sensitive. I am becoming anti-social. The stress is seriously killing me. I still remember what my former good friend told me when we fell out. How I'm a liar and sound condescending and how I'm a hypocritical person who puts others down and am impossible to deal with. I know you didn't mean it, but it still hurt like hell. I still remember how just a few months ago, I was a happier person. I was truly happy and was ready to take what life threw at me. I still remember that lovely smile on my face and how strong I used to be. Why do things have to change? What could I do to fill this hole and make myself less miserable on the inside? I really don't know how to feel better, because I don't even know what's wrong. I know I sound hypocritical when I say this. There are so many people with much worse problems out there. There are people with depression and anxiety. There are people with no food and no water and no shelter. There are people with self-harm problems and abusive parents. Yet some of these people manage to be happier than me. I'm sorry. I think I'm wasting my life and every opportunity I have. I don't deserve the things I have. I really don't.