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A Prayer for the Stressed

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J

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#1
#1
A Prayer for the Stressed

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage
to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom
to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me always to give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday
and 5% on Friday

And help me to remember...

When I'm having a bad day
and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
it takes 42 muscles to frown,
28 to smile
and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth

:D​
 
A

akashazza

#3
#3
so since one uses 42 muscles to frown as opposed to the 28 needed to smile, frowning is a better way to burn calories and lose weight, right? :)
 
J

just me

#8
#8
That's hilarious. Jenny, did you write that?

I wrote something like that it went, God grant me the courage to change the things I cannot accept . . .​
 
W

Wandering

#10
#10
I loved it! Absolutely loved it - useful advice, too ;) . I thought Monday's effort was a little high though; I couldn't even give 10%, let alone anything higher!

BK :cool:
 
J

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#11
#11
just me said:
That's hilarious. Jenny, did you write that?​
Click to expand...
​
:D no i didn't. It was actually in the toilets in my CPN (psychiatric nurse)'s office. Made me giggle so came home and did a google search ;) It's great though eh :D
 
H

Hart_fire

#12
#12
LOL!!! :rofl:
You've got me rolling on the ground right now, I love it. (This is an amazing feat seing as I've not the energy nor the awakeness to actively read the posts much less respond to them)
I will say again; LOL!!!
Thanks, that made my day, night, really early morning, whatev.
 
J

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#13
#13
Hi Hart_Fire and :welcome:

Glad you like it and it made you smile :) Let's hope the smiling continues :)

Look forward to seeing you around more
:arms:
Jenny x
 
N

non_existence

#19
#19
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

By Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)


I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth
would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it
melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was
stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried
much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the
fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his
youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day
because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more
while watching life.


I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,
wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished
every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the
only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now
go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's."
More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every
minute...look at it and really see it ... live it .and never give it
back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with.
And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally,
physically, emotionally, as well shot at this and then it's gone.
 
N

non_existence

#20
#20
Paradoxes of Our Time
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
 
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