Will I die for this the not knowing the fear. ? I will not fail you now if I can but you did so when it was your turn to be there. So when the storm has passed I cannot promise I will still wait here faithful. Surely there are worse things in the world something quite like but unlike this pain but this is mine and maybe I am not so strong and will bow beneath it. Loving someone does not mean you have to hurt yourself. And there perhaps I redeem us both all. You for what you have already done. Him for what he is doing. And me for what I might yet do.