A question about psychoanalysts and money

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by annak, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. annak

    annak Member

    Hello, I have a question about psychoanalysts and money. I am not sure where it is the right place to post this. I apologize if I am posting in the wrong forum.

    Perhaps, it is just a minor question of “having good manners” for some people, but I tend to be very absent-minded (especially nowadays) or I have never considered it a big issue, for example, to buy something and let the money on the counter, table, whatever the place where the other person can easily take it, and wait for the change (in case they have to give me some change back). Perhaps it is because I think things will go quicker if I leave the money instead of waiting for the other person’s hand to leave there the money, or perhaps I just want to avoid human contact as much as possible.:p

    No one has ever said to me something about “you have to give me the money in the hand,” except for 2 psychoanalysts. I do not have good memories of the first psychoanalyst who said that to me, some years ago when I was a teenager. I think she did not help me during the treatment. I stopped seeing her because I thought I was wasting my time, money and I thought she did not understand me.

    Then, some years later, I met a “systemic” psychologist. I adored her. She helped me a lot, but we think that we have reached a point where she cannot help me any longer. It is like she has “run out of ideas.” It was like she could help me in the short term but not in the long term.

    When I think about Freud and psychoanalysis, bad memories come to my mind. Psychoanalysis is very popular in my country and almost all psychologists are psychoanalysts. They seemed to be the only ones who can help me to find a “long-term solution.” I don’t know.

    I started seeing another psychoanalyst some months ago. I also started to think she didn’t understand me. She said things to me like “perhaps in careers of social sciences (hummanities), it is easier to make friends than in hard sciences” (???) What? “perhaps, it’s the chocolate you eat that has lecithin of soy that it is bad for your health” (it’s not because of the lecithin that I feel sad, I’m sure of that). Those are the kinds of things I can remember she said. Silly things. I don’t remember her saying anything about where I should place the money. But I thought she had no clue. So I stopped seeing her.

    And now my new therapist is also a psychoanalyst. I tried to forget my prejudices. But when I left the money on the table, she said: “you have to give me the money in the hand,” and I had a bad feeling. I know there is some symbolism in giving the money in the hand, but I do not quite understand it. I guess it is about “showing you really care about giving the money,” but the thing is it is not “really” my money, it is my parents’ money, so there is a mix of embarrassement... I do not know. I only know that I felt bad when she said that. It made me remember the first psychoanalyst and think that I do not want to be treated by psychoanalysts... I do not know.

    Is this thing about money very related to pschoanalysis, isn’t it? Is it no coincidence? Or is it that some people consider it good manners and that is all?
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    i've never seen a person who defined themselves as a 'psychoanalyst' but my gf did for a while (she also defined herself as a psychotherapist so that's what she went there for) and the stories she got back were absolutely horrifying, funny stuff!

    from what i remember researching 'psychoanalysts' here in london are catered for the rich only, in central london, and i wouldn't trust them. they charge about £100 a session i can't believe it...:blink:

    for people with less money, you're limited to 'psychodynamic' (psychoanalysis lite) where again, you go and sit in some posh house and money and freud (their one and only master) is on their mind anyway all the time....

    yeah this is the stuff my gf used to come back from her therapy sessions saying the therapist said :laugh: she'd spend 50 minutes in silence (which is how she is in therapist sessions) and this therapist wouldn't know what to do with her, so she'd 'fill in the time' making up shit like that :laugh:

    so whenever i think of 'psychoanalysts' i think of rich people and money- maybe it's just something symbolic culturally? :tongue: it's interesting you've made that observation though. i personally couldn't stand to be in a therapy session where the therapist is talking the way you've described...and money is given such a focus point.

    from what i can see this money in hand thing could be like- they want to be appreciated, they don't want you to just leave the money there, and for them in a state of subordination to pick it up :laugh: to me it sounds like a very selfish , therapist-centred indulgent way of thinking- especially when you want to avoid human interaction and are nervous , like you describe.

    take care. that was an interesting post btw .: therapists can have serious personal issues that has nothing to do with you. i've had personal experience of that which was pretty much life threatening to me last year. (she defined herself as 'art, gestalt therapist' and was completely incompetent, i find it hard to trust anyone at the moment)
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2008
  3. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Did you ask WHY the money should be given into her hand? I would have thought that it was an interesting question to discuss... ie why you are uncomfortable with it and why she is so insistent?! Maybe you should enquire.
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