An advertisement I saw on tv the other day reminded me about a question I once asked my older son. The ad showed a girl probably in her teens crying, sitting on her bed. Her mother sat beside her trying to cheer her up and help. Apparently the girl’s boyfriend broke up with her. The mother was trying to find ways to make her child happy. (I believe this was a foster child, but for my concerns, that is a different thing. My question only applies to dealing with a child’s lovelife / interests).
My son graduated college a couple years ago. He’s travelled around the world because it has been convenient while studying abroad while in school and then another time when he was invited to a friend’s wedding in Asia. Then he returned to the USA and found employment in his career choice on the other side of the country.
On one of his visits home - which at this point must already be about a year and a half ago at least, I was curious to know if anything of a romantic nature was going on in his life. Except for one very brief girlfriend in high school, there has been no indication of anything. So I asked him if he’d go out for a walk with me because I wanted to talk about things. We did. We talked about assorted things, It was a nice talk and then I told him I wanted to ask him something but that if it was something he’d rather not talk about, he could tell me to shut up. He was ok with being asked. So I asked him if anything was going on with his lovelife. He answered, “shut up”. So I did. He did not seem bothered that I had asked and then we continued back toward home talking about other things.
We never talked about the subject again and happily there has never been any bad feelings about having been asked. He’s kind and caring and we have nice conversations - even if just texting across the country. Still, I don’t want him to end up like me. that’s a fairly long story some here may know bits and pieces of - but I just wish he’s able to find happiness with another person and as I see it, the sooner the better. He’s 26. I don’t want to invade his space, but I do want him to have a happy life. If there is anything I can do to help, I want to do that. If just leaving him alone is the help he needs then, ok, I’ll leave him alone but I just feel that a father can offer some kind of support in this area - even one as inept in love as I am - and I feel as if I’m not giving that help.
I’m hoping someone here - either a parent with the same concerns or a child who has been asked, or wishes s/he had been asked, or is grateful for not having been asked, has some thoughts to share on the subject. Its very important to me and also I have a younger son 19, and I may need to ask - or not - with him also. Thanks for reading...
My son graduated college a couple years ago. He’s travelled around the world because it has been convenient while studying abroad while in school and then another time when he was invited to a friend’s wedding in Asia. Then he returned to the USA and found employment in his career choice on the other side of the country.
On one of his visits home - which at this point must already be about a year and a half ago at least, I was curious to know if anything of a romantic nature was going on in his life. Except for one very brief girlfriend in high school, there has been no indication of anything. So I asked him if he’d go out for a walk with me because I wanted to talk about things. We did. We talked about assorted things, It was a nice talk and then I told him I wanted to ask him something but that if it was something he’d rather not talk about, he could tell me to shut up. He was ok with being asked. So I asked him if anything was going on with his lovelife. He answered, “shut up”. So I did. He did not seem bothered that I had asked and then we continued back toward home talking about other things.
We never talked about the subject again and happily there has never been any bad feelings about having been asked. He’s kind and caring and we have nice conversations - even if just texting across the country. Still, I don’t want him to end up like me. that’s a fairly long story some here may know bits and pieces of - but I just wish he’s able to find happiness with another person and as I see it, the sooner the better. He’s 26. I don’t want to invade his space, but I do want him to have a happy life. If there is anything I can do to help, I want to do that. If just leaving him alone is the help he needs then, ok, I’ll leave him alone but I just feel that a father can offer some kind of support in this area - even one as inept in love as I am - and I feel as if I’m not giving that help.
I’m hoping someone here - either a parent with the same concerns or a child who has been asked, or wishes s/he had been asked, or is grateful for not having been asked, has some thoughts to share on the subject. Its very important to me and also I have a younger son 19, and I may need to ask - or not - with him also. Thanks for reading...