Lately I've been thinking a lot about my second ex, he had multiple personalities or as some call it DID. My second ex and I used to be very happy with our long distance relationship, he was a great guy until one weekend when he came back online we had an argument about me being insecure and doubting him, he then became distant and blamed me. A few days later he told me that he had been trying to break up with me because he felt guilty that he didn't love me anymore. I asked him why, and he said "the part of me that loved you just vanished, I realized I'm not the person I thought I was, I'm a bad person who would leave someone right when they needed me most." Or something like that. After that he basically erased me from his life and told me to erase him from mine. I tried to be friends with him, but he changed after that and started to be a bad friend, in the end I told him I hated him for lying to me and breaking all the promises and future we had planned together. But lately I've been wondering can Multiple Personality Disorder really cause love to just disappear? Or can a personality randomly vanish or be killed off? Because back then I felt he really did love me before that happened.
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A question for those with DID or Multiple Personalities
- Thread starter Acro
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Hi Acro 
I went through a very similar situation with my ex, though he was bipolar. He could be a perfect boyfriend for months at a time then just shut down and walk away at the time it mattered most. Its been a very long time and I still find myself wondering whether it was my fault, or his, or the illness. I still don't think I even know who the real him was. So I think I understand where you are coming from. The important thing is you believe he did love you at some point, and nobody can take that away from you, but things changed and he treated you badly, so it is good he is out of your life. I hope you can move on :cheer:
I went through a very similar situation with my ex, though he was bipolar. He could be a perfect boyfriend for months at a time then just shut down and walk away at the time it mattered most. Its been a very long time and I still find myself wondering whether it was my fault, or his, or the illness. I still don't think I even know who the real him was. So I think I understand where you are coming from. The important thing is you believe he did love you at some point, and nobody can take that away from you, but things changed and he treated you badly, so it is good he is out of your life. I hope you can move on :cheer:
Me, Myself, and I, true it is better to be in the company of yourself than with someone who doesn't feel the same. Though I guess I was wondering whether it was the illness or him that was the problem, because the change was so shocking. He used to care so much, he'd talk to me on the phone whenever I was really depressed because of things at home, he always cheered me up I loved him so much and he'd run out of minutes talking to me on the phone, but just so he could say goodnight he'd run to the store and buy more minutes. There were so many things that made me think he really loved me, no one had ever treated me like that, like I was worth the effort. That's why I want to know, of course he'll never talk to me again, he deleted me out of his life. I know the person that once loved me isn't there anymore, but I don't know if it was all a lie and he wanted to use me like my first ex or if it was the multiple personality disorder.
Dobbie11, I'm so sorry you also had to experience something like this, it's quite a hard experience to go through. Especially when you really loved them, for me it was torture, it felt like he had died and I was left with someone else in his body. I had loved him so much, he was my dream man, even though he had MPD it didn't matter, I had accepted that. But when he told me he didn't love me anymore and that part of him was gone, I felt so betrayed and hurt and confused, I know now that my dream man doesn't exist anymore. And all I am left with is confusion whether he even loved me during that time or not.
Dobbie11, I'm so sorry you also had to experience something like this, it's quite a hard experience to go through. Especially when you really loved them, for me it was torture, it felt like he had died and I was left with someone else in his body. I had loved him so much, he was my dream man, even though he had MPD it didn't matter, I had accepted that. But when he told me he didn't love me anymore and that part of him was gone, I felt so betrayed and hurt and confused, I know now that my dream man doesn't exist anymore. And all I am left with is confusion whether he even loved me during that time or not.
From what you have written, i think he did love you very much.
Things change though, 3 years on and i know my heart is still broken, only this morning did i look inside and see that again.
I can't answer your questions, i wish i could but i have not that capability.
Relationships are never set in stone, even if you spoke to him again the truth may never be disclosed.
All you can do is hold your own heart, let go and remember that love, cherish it, you dont have to forget it.
Beauty comes from within, like yourself and be kind to others too, one day another will enter your life and reciprocate your feelings, as im sure you deserve.
Things change though, 3 years on and i know my heart is still broken, only this morning did i look inside and see that again.
I can't answer your questions, i wish i could but i have not that capability.
Relationships are never set in stone, even if you spoke to him again the truth may never be disclosed.
All you can do is hold your own heart, let go and remember that love, cherish it, you dont have to forget it.
Beauty comes from within, like yourself and be kind to others too, one day another will enter your life and reciprocate your feelings, as im sure you deserve.
How painful for you....
I actually have DID - but each person with it is different.
What I can say is that in many cases - a part of the person will totally be unaware of what another part of the same person is thinking or feeling. It sounds as though he really cared as much as he was able - possibly to the point that another part came out to "protect" him from the intimacy that was there..... People with DID have usually been harmed repeatedly and sadistically by people who should have loved them... part of him may have loved you and may still love you... but that part is obviously no longer in control..... and any relationship that does not uplift both is not really love...
Either way - you deserve so much more - unless a person with DID is working to heal and fostering internal as well as outward communication in a kind, stable and caring manner - you need so much more!
It is not you - and even someone with DID can be respectful, caring and responsible in relationships! He has to take responsibility of himself - or is it himselves...... whatever.
Take care of you :hug:
I actually have DID - but each person with it is different.
What I can say is that in many cases - a part of the person will totally be unaware of what another part of the same person is thinking or feeling. It sounds as though he really cared as much as he was able - possibly to the point that another part came out to "protect" him from the intimacy that was there..... People with DID have usually been harmed repeatedly and sadistically by people who should have loved them... part of him may have loved you and may still love you... but that part is obviously no longer in control..... and any relationship that does not uplift both is not really love...
Either way - you deserve so much more - unless a person with DID is working to heal and fostering internal as well as outward communication in a kind, stable and caring manner - you need so much more!
It is not you - and even someone with DID can be respectful, caring and responsible in relationships! He has to take responsibility of himself - or is it himselves...... whatever.
Take care of you :hug:
I'm not DID myself, I have a very close friend who is though and have done a lot of research. I'd say that no, DID would not just make love disappear, unless it is through switching out into a different personality who did not feel that love. I don't think the DID would make the host just suddenly stop feeling love suddenly. Unless you're saying he didn't love you at all and it was an alter who did? In which case if the alter disappears or switches out back to him, then yeah it would disappear.
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