Ive never really attempted suicide. But I can't stop thinking about it. One of the the things that attracts me to it is my expectation that I would experience a feeling of calm and serenity at least for a few days, between the time I make the decision and the time I do it. I know a few days without anxiety and black thoughts seems like a small benefit, but when you have lived with the torture of gut-wrenching fear and worry for about 5 or 6 decades, a few days of feeling like a normal person at the end appears wonderful. If only to know what it is like, what my life could have been like without depression and anxiety. My psychologist claims that interviews with people who failed in their suicide attempts do not indicate there is any such period of calm and serenity before the attempt. I think he is bullshitting me. How could I NOT feel safe and unworried knowing that in a few days, I would be out of reach of everything that frightens me and causes my anxiety? So I would like to hear from those who have made attempts. Did you feel any calm and serenity, or not?