I guess it's obvious to tell that I'm new. And it's also obvious that I've been having suicidal thoughts these past few months and they're starting to scare me. I believe the source is my ex-boyfriend, my first boyfriend, actually, breaking up with me. He was so cold and uncaring when he regarded me in the relationship and seemed to care more about his friends, than about me. Which made it hurt even worse when we shared the same friends. In the end, I never got an apology from being hurt and on the edge, and I lost both my relationship and the fake friendships I had with this group of people. I basically spent the last two months of my second semester in college alone. I feel hurt and dejected and feel like an extreme failure to both my family and my professors. I felt, and I still feel that everyone would be happy if I just left and never came back.