A rant about my sexual assult.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Hanni, Nov 24, 2013.

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  1. Hanni

    Hanni New Member

    I was sexually assaulted probably 4 months ago now.
    I argued with my mothers boyfriend and in retaliation he encouraged my brother (who has Autism and tends to copy what he see's) to watch rape porn. After watching he would become aggressive and say disgusting things you should never say to anyone let alone a family member.
    A few weeks later he was told again by my mothers boyfriend that i deserved the disgusting things said to me. He then encouraged my brother to turn physical and say worse things.
    The next day i asked my brother to "move his school books of the bench" so that i could make lunch. He responded by pushing me up against the kitchen sink and sexually assaulting me (i wont say how in case it triggers someone or isn't allowed)
    It still makes me feel awful and so angry.
    Especially since nobody seemed to care just saying he has autism so it's not his fault and "are you still upset over that? It was ages ago". My mother is even still with the dirt bag who encouraged this all to happen.
    I hate the idea now of having a sexual relationship, i just cant... if that makes sense?

    I'm just going to put as a side note: I told a friend about this and all she did was judge me for being assaulted by someone with a disability. My brother is 2.1 meters tall which is over a head and a half taller than me! He is also quite strong so please don't judge me..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh no hun we won't judge you here You need to tell someone ok so your brother can get help to know what is right and wrong no way this should be pushed under carpet this attack
    I also hope you reach out for some support at school or a councilor to help you heal hugs
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    honestly, when someone sexually assaults you.. no matter what, it hurts you deep.... doesn't matter the reasons why they may or may not have done what they did the fact that it was done, is not right. the fact that it was your brother, makes that hurt and the confusion even deeper. i am truly sorry you are going through this... and honestly, if your mother can't be on your side about this, you need to tell someone who will be on your side... an adult... be it a counselor, guidance counselor, social service worker, teacher, priest or even a friend's parents that you trust... find someone you feel safe reaching out to. i was also sexually assaulted in diff ways as a teen, worst thing i ever did was not telling the adults i could trust... i made the mistakes of the first time i told i told it to someone i could not trust and the others i never told..... dont make those mistakes hon, just makes it harder to deal with. please get help .... if u see me in chat, dont be afraid to pm.. please take care
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You need to discuss this with a sexual assault counselor. I would also suggest you discuss a safety plan with somebody if you are still living with somebody that has the physical ability to sexually assault you but is limited in ability to discern right from wrong or control their actions, and another person that is sadistic enough to encourage that to happen to anybody or to manipulate somebody else like that.
  5. Hanni

    Hanni New Member

    Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I'm actually meeting up with someone tonight who i think i can talk to not only about this but about my problems with eating as well. She's gone through similar things so i think she'll be understanding and accepting :)
    Sorry for taking so long to reply to you all my internet was down.
  6. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    glad to see you are still ok.... hope everything IS truly ok. if you need to talk further, feel free. hope that talk went well!
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I would actually consider reporting this to the police. Not so much reporting your brother because although he's hurt you he's not necessarily to blame for this and I'd understand why you wouldn't want to report your brother. If your brother is under the legal age of consent then your step dad exposing him to pornography is illegal and I guess classed as sexual abuse too. He's as much scarred your brother as he has you and has completely manipulated a poor guy who has autism, it's sick.

    I hope you are able to speak to your friend about this, good luck!
  8. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Sweetie, I won't judge you. Of course not, trust me you're not alone.
    I hope things are okay with you at the moment; I've been through similar experiences and you have every right to be angry.

    Please pm me if you ever want to talk or anything.
    ~gentle hugs if okay.
  9. thecatlady

    thecatlady Member

    Wow, what is wrong with the people in your life? They sound like they are blaming you for the assault. That's ridiculous. Your mother's boyfriend is the cause of all of this, although I don't know the degree to which your brother is autistic, but many of them can be taught that physically pushing others around is wrong. Regardless, that is so disgusting that your mother would allow her boyfriend to encourage that, and to not think it's a big deal.

    How old are you? You're living in an abusive environment and you don't deserve that...If you need help with anything, feel free to message me. You might be a stranger, but I can help you. Even if it's just to talk, but I can help you with more, if needed. Reporting to the authorities and such.
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