This is only partly a rant. I wish clothing manufacturers would standardise sizes!!!!!!!!! Not just for clothing, although it can be so annoying to go into a store, pick up one top in two different sizes and then find out that neither of them fit you...it's a "Yay!" moment if you can get into a 10 but a "Grrr" moment if you have to go to a 16... So annoying. But even more annoying than clothes, is the bra sizing. I ranted about this on Afterdark last month, but I thought I would just keep it here this time since it's not so much a debate as just ANNOYING me. This time last month, or slightly before, I went to Marks and Spencers looking for a 34DD bra. I came out, after being fitted by a saleswoman, with a 34E. Then, a couple weeks after that, it was suggested that I go to La Senza because they also do a fitting, to check that that was the true size. I was fitted there and they told me that their bras are slightly small made, and that they did not have a single bra in the whole store big enough. They only go up to a size F (and they are an UNDERWEAR shop!!! Argh). And so today I finally did what I've been threatening to do for a couple months now, and headed to Glasgow's Ingram Street, and Bravissimo. They do bras in all sizes from D to JJ and so I was confident that I could find one And I did. Actually, I found two. But the thing is - they weren't 34E. They weren't even 34F. They were thirty TWO friggin FF!!! What the hell is going on?!?!?! I would love to just go into a shop and just be able to pick up something and be SURE IT'S GOING TO FIT!!!!!!! Sorry. My mum's been on my back all day. Basically I'm very expensive to keep. The two bras, prettyful as they are, cost a combined total of £49, and I got two books for uni which totalled £41. Ugh. If I was a normal size and not trying to be something that I'm not, she could have saved £90. I don't know why we're even doing this anyway. She's all, "Oh I'm so proud of you!" yet I can tell she's really worried that uni is going to make me start cutting again. Jesus, I wish. All I hear is "Come on" "hurry up" "You still haven't done this" "You always do that!" "You never do this in time" "You're a bad friend" "You should wear make up" "you need to eat less". I know, ok?!?! I know that I do all these things that I'm not supposed to, or don't do things that I'm supposed to! And I know that that makes you think I'm a bad person! Everyone on here is so nice and so friendly, I love you guys :grouphug: but I don't understand how you can tell me you see good things in me when my own mother can't, isn't even willing to look past the outside. I talk too much. I spend too much time online. I'm always talking too loud. In cars I put on my radio so I don't have to listen to them talking, sometimes about me. I KNOW that she thinks I'm fat. She keeps saying I'm not, that I'm healthy, that we have completely different builds. That I would look unhealthy if I was as skinny as she used to be. Yet she still keeps telling me I need to eat less, or I'm going to end up the size of a house, and that she was "seven stone four (102lbs) when I got married, and I was 24" and I've been this size and weight for two or three years now. I think she's ashamed of me Jesus, why does it have to be me? You know how many times I wished that one of her other babies lived? That she hadn't had that miscarriage; or that my sister hadn't been born without kidneys? That I'd never been born at all, because after losing two children before she even saw them, what could I be but a big disappointment where there should be hope. I don't know. Maybe one of them could have been the daughter my mother wants. She's gone through so much I can't put her through more. So I can't tell her...can't kill myself...can't fucking do anything. Just annoy them and cost them money and make them ashamed that they even have a daughter. Sorry. Turned into more of a rant than I'd intended. Sorry.