A rant.. :(

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Nomisf, Feb 26, 2007.

  1. Nomisf

    Nomisf Member

    Righty, only the second time i have posted here but i do always keep an eye on goings on. So hi peoples. PLEASE be bothered to read it ... :unsure:

    I dont know, its one of those things, I think i have feelings for a girl for ages and ages, then one day she calls me and says to me she thinks she is in love with me. Im taken, and we both spend the rest of that day happy as hell. So im in school the next day (yes im young yes im 16 yes get over it) we are together, it feels really good and the day flys by -

    we dont kiss but i think thats pretty perfect anyway holding hands being close, typical myrriad of questions from people but hey. I spend ages texting her here and there then tuesday her internet connection dies - so we are stuck with text. We carry on regardless, and all the time i am going crazy im my mind worrying about the things i say or have said , worry about apologising for things, worrying about worrying ?

    i didnt sleep, i have barely eaten - and by now a week later her internet connection is still dead, and she isnt allowed to use her phone much ( large phone bill in the past ) ive known this girl for ages now i helped her through a horrid patch in her previous relationship, he broke the final straw and a few weeks later she loves me , she says its not on the rebound and i find out it probably isnt becuase she has liked me in that way since she was with him. I spend the weekend with her and her mates, we are really close its amazing, then i go home saturday and feel like hell worrying about things ive done if i said the right this and that -

    to the point where i spend 2 hours standing watching the city from the railway bridge wanting to cry but not being able to , but hold on im in love !?! Sometimes she dosnt hold my hand, sometimes she does , when she does i worry im being clingy when she doesnt i worry im not doing things right, ive spoken to her but when i aplogise i always worry about apologising to much , she usually lays her head on my shoulder and hugs the bad away, then we say goodbye and for 10 minutes im happy until i start to worry again and thats why im here now saying this.

    I love her to bits, i always had, we had no idea eachother felt the same till she said it. I dont know what she wants in this relationship, i dont know what i want , but i do know im worrying to much , but am i doing things right but am i not only i know but i cant decide. Oh lord help me ... wait im an atheist ¬_¬ .

    I just want to be happy and make her happy - i want to be with her forever - but i get so worked up and i know im going to trash it if i keep it up this way ... every relationship ive been in upto now i have been badly messed with, and i find it hard to trust, even when i hear that my best mate has been out with her and her best mates my mind goes crazy, it shouldnt - i know she woulnt but i get worried, i cry and i wish i could tell how she is feeling - normally i can do empathy - maybe even read people , but not with her - not at all , makes it brilliant , but hard and upsetting.

    I dont want the whole "aww hugs" treatment that seems the standard on these boards, maybe all i want to hear is relax , but ive tried. I dont know i want to hear a million things, just not the usual please.

    Cheers for listening to my rant, afterall im here for you when you are here for me :)
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds like a perfectly normal 16 year old reaction to a new romance and yeah I'm gonna say it ...RELAX!!!! she's told you how she feels, so accept it and enjoy!!!
  3. Nomisf

    Nomisf Member

    I'd figured that was what was coming :) and i suppose its what i wanted to hear , so thanks you made me smile . .. anyone else ( now why do i ask the questions when i already know the answer.. madness i swear )
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :laugh: :laugh: