A real dilemma

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mechanic, Sep 11, 2013.

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  1. mechanic

    mechanic Member

    I have had suicidal thoughts before and have come close to trying to end my life but I knew things would change eventually so I never went through with it. Now things are different, I have fucked up and there are bad people after me. I moved to a different city and started training to join the military as I thought it would make a good safe haven, after training for a few months I suffered an injury and have now lost all self motivation, now I come home from work and drink spirits and feel sorry for myself.
    Thoughts of suicide have filled my mind lately, I tried to write a suicide note today but its so hard to write it in a way that will relieve my loved ones of the pain. I want to live and be happy but I feel that its just not possible for me any more. I have thought about writing a letter of abandonment to my friends and family and ending my life in a way that my body will not be found so they think I have moved away and started a new life without them. but at the same time I want to give them closure. Someone please help me decide what to do!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The will not have closure if you leave or committ suicide there is never ever any closure hun what you do is take yourself to the hospital and tell them how suicidal you are and you get help you need to get stronger again ok
     
  3. mechanic

    mechanic Member

    Thank you for replying.
    As far as I am concerned this is not an option, this is my mind, I do not want to be medicated or have a shrink try to alter my thoughts. I am a man of logic, unfortunately my logic has led me to a paradox. I want to guide myself to a final decision through the experiences and lessons learned from the lives of real people, not some medical text book.
     
  4. mechanic

    mechanic Member

    No offence to anyone in therapy or on medication, Its just not for me.
     
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