I hope I can explain this. I've had a lot of traumatic experiences in life and the most important one was the death of my mother. I felt when she died I instantly blocked her out of my mind, because the thoughts were just too painful to deal with (she died when I was around 13). Well my mom and dad are the only family I have. Now my father has stage 4 lung cancer (I'm 19 now) and I'm so scared all the time. I watch him get sick, he can't walk. It's like watching my mother die all over again. I'm pretty good at keeping it all in. I smoke I lot, I waste time, never go to class-but I'm pretty good at appearing to be strong. About an hour ago I found something my dad had wrote...something very spirtual. Basically a plea to God for healing. So I begin to lash out and cry my eyes out. I yelled and yelled at God. My dad is a good man and is being reduced to begging for his life from god. All the memories of my mother were coming back and all my anger and fear about my dad were too. It was reaching a boiling point and then... THEN...this is where it gets freaky. All of a sudden I opened my eyes and I didn't recognize my surroundings. I knew I was home but it was like I literally never saw this place before in my life. I started panicking and walking around and everything seemed so foreign and strange. I tried turning on my TV and calling something just to get my sense of "sanity" back. Finally I was able to numb my mind after playing some mundane computer game. And then I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. And it happened again. I didn't recognize myself and I couldn't believe my inner voice and my body we're related...I couldn't believe the person in the mirror was the one having these thoughts...LITERALLY and I panicked again and couldn't recognize myself. These episodes have been happening much more lately. Is this a sign of depression?