A shade of me, a darkness thats real..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Eztral, Oct 8, 2007.

  1. Eztral

    Eztral Member

    I sit in a bedroom, with four walls filled with memories..
    The best ones in the world, the best ones I will ever have..
    I now sit here alone..
    I feel so cold..
    I look out the window, the ones only partially covered by drapes..
    I remember how you laughed and said you would hate if someone would look in at night..
    I saw your smile, so unbelivibly bright.
    The bluest eyes, clear as the sky..
    I run my fingers through imaginary hair, put my hand on a imaginare waist.
    Tears start to drop to the ground,
    blood is running from my veins.
    I feel insane, but I don't feel any pain,
    no real pain, my heart is bursting, it's tearing me in every direction..
    I look around, it's like the walls dissepear.
    I feel so empty and hallow, I feel so shallow, for wanting the world to change for me..
    I beg to God, take this pain away, why do I have to be here, why can't I just be gone..
    I scream, GIVE ME OBLIVION ! take it away...
    I hide, I drink,
    I run to friends,
    I do whatever I can, just to stay awake, to stay away from the dreams,
    I know you are there, waiting, looking, watching over me..
    I see you next to me in the mirror, the tears hit the floor again..
    No blood this time,
    no blood anymore I told myself,
    I feel the cuts are burning, and a desire to take it away again is rising within me...
    I bleed,
    I feel weak,
    I cry, and a little on the inside of me die..
    I lie in my bed,
    wishing I was dead,
    I just want you to be there,
    I don't care about anything else..
    Everyones support is in vain..
    Their words falls dead,
    "I feel your pain". No you don't.. I'm sorry man, you might have experienced something like this, you might have been here, but you are not me...
    "at least now you are free"
    A memory haunting me, I will never be free..
    I don't know anymore.. if I can go on..
    Will I be but a memory carved in stone?
    Will I even be a memory?