a simple rant

[Raven]

This time I promise I have learned my lesson, don’t trust anyone; they are all out to hurt you. No matter how hard you try to be someone’s friend, no matter how much you try to be that good person in the end all you will find is the dagger in your back.

Bullshit you may say but trust me it is not, give someone the right motive and the correct opportunity and they will knife you, anyone I have known in person (members of this site excluded) have found some way to jack with my life. They lough as if it is no big deal not giving a single thought to what destruction they may cause in your personal life, as long as it fits their agenda.

I am done trying, I have had enough, when the cancer finally kills my father I shall not be far behind, I just simply can’t leave him alone to face this alone, a small sacrifice I can make. At lease I know he cared, I wish I could show better how I care for him.

I am simply numb, I will never trust anyone again, I am simply tired of waking up in the morning, whatever is beyond this life I am no longer afraid, if there is nothing I will no longer be afraid, no longer hurt, no longer feeling all of this. If there is something else it must be better than this.

I will do what I can to make sure my father’s last days are as good as they can be, I owe the old man this, for all he was I still believe he tried, and so will I, when he is gone I can drop the mask, end the pretending, I will not be afraid anymore as I walk into night.


~Raven

Sorry for the rant I feel better I can at least be me here for a little while longer.

 

[Stormrider]

People can be selfish and, well just ignorant bastards basically.
But we need to keep giving a chance to others, but you can be carefull while doing so.
I don't want to count the knives in my back from people i've trusted.
I just make a habit of making sure i don't get fooled by the same person twice.
It's the best i can do without shutting myself off social life completely.

I'm also sorry for your father, i have a grandmother that's in the hospital right now, doctors only give her a few more days, i know it's not the same as parent but i think it's great you try to be there for him, i'm sure he appreciates it very much.

 

[Raven]

I watched my grandmother die of cancer, she had a brain tumor the same as my dad, but she was never the same, I watched her sit in nursing home for a year before it came back and she died. I remember being their the day before she passed, I would not wish this on anyone, I hope the best for you, and I am sorry to hear your plight. I am not sure she ever really remembered who I was.