I know the policy is that we cannot expose our real names, that is fine. This site has been a great source of help for me over the last many months. It has provided support for me to avoid doing what I had unfortunately felt I would eventually need to do. In the end it is my decision. I am an adult in my late thirties, I am not insane or suffering from psychological problems. I am a victim of circumstance, shattered forever and unable and even unwilling to go any further with the suffering. Yes life should have been much more, there was so much I wanted to do, but there are far greater powers at work that one single man simply cannot counter. Unlike so many of the disgusting stories we read about on a daily basis I am not going to harm anyone else before I go, this is only about my own existence and what I hope will be for me in the afterlife; hence the reasons I request some prayer. Please, anything simple will do. If there is noone listening at the other end of the line it doesn't matter anyways. Thank you for all of your hard work people, many of you are the salt of the earth.