A slow death?

[itmahanh]

Pull the plug or not on chat? Admin doesnt seem to be able to fix it (not for a lack of trying) and members are so divided on it. Does it serve a legitimate purpose on SF? There is Facebook, MSN, Skype and so many other sites available for personal chit chat. Should others have to avoid an application because it is being abused by a few? If half the stuff that goes on in chat were posted as a thread, that person would be quickly reprimanded, but it doesnt seem to apply to chat. Is chat necessary or is it just becoming an eyesore at SF?

Maybe admin could use the replies to decide just how important chat is to the member population of SF?

 

[fromthatshow]

I love SF chat and it has been very helpful in the past.
Cannot deny it has been tense in there at times but I think by far it is more helpful than hurtful.

 

[~Tosh~]

sorry, but i agree with spencer

 

[~PinkElephants~]

there are moments in chat where yes it can get tense and it can get bad. Overall chat is a place to have idle chit chat. I like chat 95% of time while other 5% it can get rough. For the most part chat is supportive. Like Joe said in the other post you recently made chat is for idle banter while the forum is for the support.

I don't understand what you're trying to accomplish witht he post hun. If you don't like chat, then why not just avoid it?

 

[Abacus21]

If half the stuff that goes on in chat were posted as a thread, that person would be quickly reprimanded, but it doesnt seem to apply to chat. Is chat necessary or is it just becoming an eyesore at SF?

Folks are reprimanded quickly, where necessary. They're warned via PM, silenced, kicked or banned, depending on what they've done. Response time only really depends on whether a mod is looking at the screen or not. It's more easy to reprimand someone in chat, than on the forum, I'd say, in fact..

 

[itmahanh]

Ya know that's just it. I do avoid it. But there are times when I could really just use the "support" of being with others when I'm feeling too alone. And if it happened once in a while ok, it's just circumstance or coincedence. But it happens more time than not lately. I go in, say hi and then just sit there. I say hi to every person that enters chat. And still I sit there. Cant really join in a conversation that is personal between a few members. Almost feel like I'm intruding by going to chat. If people want to have personal conversations, take it to a private window etc. It's great that some people are strong and sure enough of themselves to go in and just take off in chat. But others arent and maybe scared off. Chat if it's available should be "available" to all not taken over by a handful. Hey only my personal experience and opinions. Just want to get others feelings on chat and maybe give admin some constructive input to maybe help eliminate some of the problems. Thanks for your feedback.

Oh the other post was just me venting (lol) but then I figured why not take it further.

 

[HappyAZaClaM]

Pull the plug or not on chat? Admin doesnt seem to be able to fix it (not for a lack of trying) and members are so divided on it. Does it serve a legitimate purpose on SF? There is Facebook, MSN, Skype and so many other sites available for personal chit chat. Should others have to avoid an application because it is being abused by a few? If half the stuff that goes on in chat were posted as a thread, that person would be quickly reprimanded, but it doesnt seem to apply to chat. Is chat necessary or is it just becoming an eyesore at SF?

Maybe admin could use the replies to decide just how important chat is to the member population of SF?

*shrug* ?? I hadn't heard any talk of shutting it down. to me, it's useless.
been on there twice. last time was last time for me. as far as others are
concerned, I think admin should leave it open and let people enter at their
own risk. personally I think it should be self policed as well. people need to
gang up and tell the dikheds acting up to fuck off and not come back.
can't ya put people on ignore in in chat too? there ya go. leave it open
and let the people govern it. weed out the assholes themselves rather
than relying on staff to do it.

of course, this would require that staff ALLOW people to be intimidating
and possibly threatening towrd punks who are disrupting chat for others.
I would volunterr to be a chat monitor, but I would be the first one
banned for telling people what I really think. the whole geshalt needs to
get its priorities straight. meanwhile, I wash my hands of the entire sordid affair
until asked by staff to go in and kick out the riffraff, which will never happen.
so, there is my 2 cents. for what it's worth. about 1.25 cents approximately.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Ya know that's just it. I do avoid it. But there are times when I could really just use the "support" of being with others when I'm feeling too alone. And if it happened once in a while ok, it's just circumstance or coincedence. But it happens more time than not lately. I go in, say hi and then just sit there. I say hi to every person that enters chat. And still I sit there. Cant really join in a conversation that is personal between a few members. Almost feel like I'm intruding by going to chat. If people want to have personal conversations, take it to a private window etc. It's great that some people are strong and sure enough of themselves to go in and just take off in chat. But others arent and maybe scared off. Chat if it's available should be "available" to all not taken over by a handful. Hey only my personal experience and opinions. Just want to get others feelings on chat and maybe give admin some constructive input to maybe help eliminate some of the problems. Thanks for your feedback.

Oh the other post was just me venting (lol) but then I figured why not take it further.

I go into chat nightly and half the time people are talking and don't say hi, that's why I say hi instead to initiate me being there and joining the convo. Also saying how are you or how was your day would be a good kick off. Just because one convo is going on doesn't mean more than one convo can't happen. I've seen many times 2 or 3 convos going at once. You just have to jump in and if you don't feel comfortable mention that you'd like to talk privately and I"m sure someone would be more than happy to join a subroom, start a private convo or simply speak to you in chat amongst the other convos.

I get that at times it's a bit much and some people go off the handle but I"ve noticed the mods have beena cting much more quickly and efficiently lately. You have to remember that not all mods are paying attention at times and yah they are human too..the f up at times lol. It happens. C'est la vie.

 

[The_Discarded]

Ya know that's just it. I do avoid it. But there are times when I could really just use the "support" of being with others when I'm feeling too alone. And if it happened once in a while ok, it's just circumstance or coincedence. But it happens more time than not lately. I go in, say hi and then just sit there. I say hi to every person that enters chat. And still I sit there. Cant really join in a conversation that is personal between a few members. Almost feel like I'm intruding by going to chat. If people want to have personal conversations, take it to a private window etc. It's great that some people are strong and sure enough of themselves to go in and just take off in chat. But others arent and maybe scared off. Chat if it's available should be "available" to all not taken over by a handful. Hey only my personal experience and opinions. Just want to get others feelings on chat and maybe give admin some constructive input to maybe help eliminate some of the problems. Thanks for your feedback.

Oh the other post was just me venting (lol) but then I figured why not take it further.

The speed, exclusivity and sometimes incomprehensibility of chat rooms is pretty much ubiquitous. That's what chat rooms do. It's just a bunch of chatter really fast used as a distraction / method of unwinding.

Yeah, it's supposed to be a place of support. But it's a place of support made up of (surprise, surprise!) humans. Don't be shocked when human nature takes its course here or anywhere.

When you get a bunch of people together, people are excluded. It happens, really. Everywhere. Sucks, but it does.

So... step outta your comfort zone a little and jump into the conversation. PM someone who you know won't mind (I wouldn't! :biggrin. Ask if anyone's willing to follow and go into a subroom. Gotta do something if you wanna get something. People can't read your mind. :yikes:

Getting rid of it doesn't make sense when some people are benefited by it and the others can easily click the little gray door with the green arrow pointing outward. And, I mean... what else would you prefer? That peeps sit there in virtual silence to make sure every person who logs in gets his or her chance to speak?

 

[itmahanh]

Well then maybe what chat needs is some good old "politeness"rules. I say hi and I "jump" in as you say. I've seen tons of others do it too. But chat does get taken over by the same poeple over and over again and it has become quite group run. Sorry only way I can think to explain it. And sorry but if you dont fit in with the group, then you are left out. Let's face it, chat belongs to a certain group of people at different times of the day. Not saying it is right or wrong, but maybe it's time to change that. It is somewhat intimidating to say the least. Chat is becoming no different than school. You have you're "populars" that seem to run it all and the rest that keep staring in from the sidelines.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Well then maybe what chat needs is some good old "politeness"rules. I say hi and I "jump" in as you say. I've seen tons of others do it too. But chat does get taken over by the same poeple over and over again and it has become quite group run. Sorry only way I can think to explain it. And sorry but if you dont fit in with the group, then you are left out. Let's face it, chat belongs to a certain group of people at different times of the day. Not saying it is right or wrong, but maybe it's time to change that. It is somewhat intimidating to say the least. Chat is becoming no different than school. You have you're "populars" that seem to run it all and the rest that keep staring in from the sidelines.

I think that is a bunch of bullshit. I go into chat nightly and see tons of different people chatting and it's not as you call it "the populars". Maybe someone who's in chat everynight might be deemed someone popular b/c they are well known adn there alot. Those that seldomly come into chat aren't widely known so people might find it difficult to talk to them. It's irritating that people think it's always the same people talkign when I know for a fact that's not true. I started talking to someone recently in chat who's been here for two weeks and jumped right in and started talking to everyone...does that now make him a popular b/c he jumped in and started chatting every night?

 

[nagisa]

I really like chat. I usually just go in to know that I can talk to people if I want to. It's nice to have that around. I know what you mean about some people ruining it for the lot but I've noticed some improvements. Staff do what they can.

 

[itmahanh]

When you get a bunch of people together, people are excluded. It happens, really. Everywhere. Sucks, but it does.

Well I'm sorry but I for one do not believe or follow that rule. Correct me if I'm wrong but you are saying is that those that can ... do and those who cant well too bad? Stinks a little of segregation to me. How about if those that can, make a stronger combined effort to help those that cant? Really, rather than getting so caught up in your own human nature and running with the pack, how about looking out and helping along those that cant. Myself, I even go as far as "nudging" members that are showing as in chat but havent be invovled for a length of time. Some it helps them to jump in and others well they let me know to bugger off (lol). But the effort is made. A few small efforts made by everyone that can will make a huge difference. It is no different than the forums. We all chip in to help others. It's a given.

 

[itmahanh]

Those that seldomly come into chat aren't widely known so people might find it difficult to talk to them. It's irritating that people think it's always the same people talkign when I know for a fact that's not true. I started talking to someone recently in chat who's been here for two weeks and jumped right in and started talking to everyone...does that now make him a popular b/c he jumped in and started chatting every night?

Well that's the point right there. You have been here quite some time. And it may be difficult to talk to someone you dont know. So then lets play that from the other side. Someone new comes in and doesnt know anyone. It's difficult for them to just jump right in. And nope doesn't make that person popular. Kudos to them for having the guts to do it. But I'm just saying that so many others arent able to do that. Just maybe everyone has to remember their first time in chat and relate that to the experience of others. And for those that seem to think it is proper to behave rudely and out of line, they shouldn't be there in the first place. One of the rules of SF just because one might be in a foul mood does not give them the right to treat others badly. Guess just trying to find some ways to make chat more welcoming like it used to be.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Well that's the point right there. You have been here quite some time. And it may be difficult to talk to someone you dont know. So then lets play that from the other side. Someone new comes in and doesnt know anyone. It's difficult for them to just jump right in. And nope doesn't make that person popular. Kudos to them for having the guts to do it. But I'm just saying that so many others arent able to do that. Just maybe everyone has to remember their first time in chat and relate that to the experience of others. And for those that seem to think it is proper to behave rudely and out of line, they shouldn't be there in the first place. One of the rules of SF just because one might be in a foul mood does not give them the right to treat others badly. Guess just trying to find some ways to make chat more welcoming like it used to be.

I've been here for as long as I have because I'm depressed as hell not because it's some mini vacation for me. I don't like relying on a forum to feel like I'm somebody. Going into chat for me is a reprieve from my fake ass smile life I have to portray constantly. Chat for me is a place to let go and just be the real me. Chat has been skewed for awhile. It's not since Nov. 2007 when you joined. It's been up and down for awhile and like anything as Robin would say "things change". Yeah sometimes for the bad and others for the good. All people have to say in chat is HI and they will get responses. If they don't and the chatroom is pretty silent it's because people aren't there.

I don't know why you are trying to shed such a poor reflection on chat because of a few bad apples. They are everywhere and yeah it sucks that it happens even here on a support site but it's always bound to happen. The new people that come into chat just will eventually fit in. It happened when I joined. I didn't talk for weeks when entering chat until one day someone started talking to me. You think just because I've been here for so long that I didn't have the same issues or problems as "the new people". We were all new once and it took us all some time to fit in. Like all places it'll happen.

 

[itmahanh]

I've been here for as long as I have because I'm depressed as hell not because it's some mini vacation for me. I don't like relying on a forum to feel like I'm somebody. Going into chat for me is a reprieve from my fake ass smile life I have to portray constantly. Chat for me is a place to let go and just be the real me. Chat has been skewed for awhile. It's not since Nov. 2007 when you joined. It's been up and down for awhile and like anything as Robin would say "things change". Yeah sometimes for the bad and others for the good. All people have to say in chat is HI and they will get responses. If they don't and the chatroom is pretty silent it's because people aren't there.

I don't know why you are trying to shed such a poor reflection on chat because of a few bad apples. They are everywhere and yeah it sucks that it happens even here on a support site but it's always bound to happen. The new people that come into chat just will eventually fit in. It happened when I joined. I didn't talk for weeks when entering chat until one day someone started talking to me. You think just because I've been here for so long that I didn't have the same issues or problems as "the new people". We were all new once and it took us all some time to fit in. Like all places it'll happen.

Kiana, I'm not trying to make this personal, so please dont treat it as such. If you have misinterrepted something I wrote, then I apologize for not being clearer. I'm not calling on you or any one member but rather all members. Truth is I'm not shedding any light, there is a poor reflection on chat already. I'm just trying to maybe find some constructive ideas and input to see if chat cant be made more accommodating to all.

Hell if nothing else, maybe this will generate interest in people that havent tried chat to get in and give it a go? lol!

 

[~PinkElephants~]

Kiana, I'm not trying to make this personal, so please dont treat it as such. If you have misinterrepted something I wrote, then I apologize for not being clearer. I'm not calling on you or any one member but rather all members. Truth is I'm not shedding any light, there is a poor reflection on chat already. I'm just trying to maybe find some constructive ideas and input to see if chat cant be made more accommodating to all.

I'm not taking it personally honey. I'm defending the people that do go into chat nightly for some reprieve from faking happiness and smiling fake ass smiles to put it bluntly. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences in chat but saying you want to shut down chat from people who have had and still have positive experiences is ludicrous(sp) to me. I think chat is very accomodating. I think we're lucky to even have it as a part of this support forum. We could be like many other forums where all you can rely on is forum support and on most of those it's scarce. I know you want to put an end to the negative aspect of chat but being here for as long as I have I know that no matter how hard you try there will always be a negative aspect at times. Even when there is that negative you have to sit back and wonder if those negative people are even in their right minds. After all it's a support forum for unstable and depressed people.

 

[The_Discarded]

Well I'm sorry but I for one do not believe or follow that rule. Correct me if I'm wrong but you are saying is that those that can ... do and those who cant well too bad? Stinks a little of segregation to me. How about if those that can, make a stronger combined effort to help those that cant? Really, rather than getting so caught up in your own human nature and running with the pack, how about looking out and helping along those that cant. Myself, I even go as far as "nudging" members that are showing as in chat but havent be invovled for a length of time. Some it helps them to jump in and others well they let me know to bugger off (lol). But the effort is made. A few small efforts made by everyone that can will make a huge difference. It is no different than the forums. We all chip in to help others. It's a given.

That's certainly not my point. It's not a "rule," it's an observation.

I, too, occasionally try to speak to those who aren't speaking or being spoken to as much and I think it's cool when people do.

However, I think we just see this differently. Most of the time I figure if a person isn't talking then they don't want to. If a person wants to, they will. I don't tamper with people too much against their requests. Often, someone might just wanna bear witness to a little communication and not be barked at for not rambling on.

And hell, people do get excluded. Life, every bit of it, is like "school." The "populars" run everything and with being liked comes benefits. That's how shit works. People are going to be excluded. One can't really moderate that. Naturally, things are cliquey. Everywhere. One can try to avoid "running with the pack," but we are pack animals.

An individual can, er, try to help other people as much as he wants; when it comes down to it, if you don't participate, that's no one else's problem really. Maybe harsh? It's true, though. You gotta speak up! No one can do anything about it if they don't know. We chip in to help others, sure, but no one's responsible for anyone else. If you want to be heard, just ask - loudly (like this! I bet a few more people'll go out of their ways to talk to you now)!

In the meantime, people are merely unwinding; let 'em!

Again, no one can read anyone's mind. We're merely people. Of course the chat thing, as everything, has got its imperfections.

...Whatevs.

 

[~PinkElephants~]

That's certainly not my point. It's not a "rule," it's an observation.

I, too, occasionally try to speak to those who aren't speaking or being spoken to as much and I think it's cool when people do.

However, I think we just see this differently. Most of the time I figure if a person isn't talking then they don't want to. If a person wants to, they will. I don't tamper with people too much against their requests. Often, someone might just wanna bear witness to a little communication and not be barked at for not rambling on.

And hell, people do get excluded. Life, every bit of it, is like "school." The "populars" run everything and with being liked comes benefits. That's how shit works. People are going to be excluded. One can't really moderate that. Naturally, things are cliquey. Everywhere. One can try to avoid "running with the pack," but we are pack animals.

An individual can, er, try to help other people as much as he wants; when it comes down to it, if you don't participate, that's no one else's problem really. Maybe harsh? It's true, though. You gotta speak up! No one can do anything about it if they don't know. We chip in to help others, sure, but no one's responsible for anyone else. If you want to be heard, just ask - loudly (like this! I bet a few more people'll go out of their ways to talk to you now)!

In the meantime, people are merely unwinding; let 'em!

Again, no one can read anyone's mind. We're merely people. Of course the chat thing, as everything, has got its imperfections.

Well put Face. Well put.

 

[itmahanh]

Yes nicely put Discarded. But guess I'm tired of being led around by the others. And yep it is up to the individual to speak up. I am and I hoping that others that may have been too uncertain to try will now. Sometimes one person can make a difference. Sometimes one person has to step away form the pack and show the pack that there is a life outside of that "comfort zone". I just want to do what I can to make chat a welcoming place so that all that want to use it can. No feeling intimidated, unwelcome or having to face abusive behaviour. As for all those that will go out of their way to talk to me now...... dont bother. If you couldnt then ,dont be a hero now (lol).