A so-called miracle

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Pharaoh, Jun 30, 2009.

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  1. Pharaoh

    Pharaoh Member

    I'm new here, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to follow some sort of crazy format or not, but I suppose if there is one, I'll be told shortly after posting this.

    A few months ago I was in a bad spot, and I just felt like I couldn't take life anymore. My boyfriend had told me about how he had thought about killing himself. While I was contemplating how I wanted to go, his method became by means. I took a belt, and wrapped it around my neck.

    I didn't want to have to wake up in the morning, and that took pills from my mind. I would have no clue what to take, or how many to take. I had also though of jumping of something high, but I'm terrified of heights. I knew I would never be able to do something like that.

    <Mod Edit: Abacus21- Methods>I only wrapped it around enough so it cut my circulation off. I had heard that if you cut of circulation, you could die, without any of the strangulation. I remember writting the letter to my boyfriend, remember <Mod Edit: Abacu21 - methods> starting to tighten it after locking me door. I also remember my vision going blurry around the edges; almost like I was in a dream. I can remember the dizziness and the thoughts about how this was my last option to fix anything.

    I passed out, but I fell when that happened, as physics would assume. I guess the belt loosened itself when I fell, because that's the only thing I can imagine to have happened. I woke up in the morning, the belt loose around my neck, and my heart still beating.

    I recently found the letter I had written to by boyfriend, and when I told him what happened and I gave the letter, he said that it was a miracle. He said it was God's will, but I've never been religious, and don't believe in miracles.

    That's my story, I guess
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2009
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Welcome to the forum!

    Miracle or not, you're still here and will hopefully get the help and support you need so you won't feel like you have to end your life.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Pharoah, welcome to the forums :arms:

    I'm glad you survived,I hope we can help x
  4. Pharaoh

    Pharaoh Member

    Yeah, so do I. It seems like a nice place. Understanding and everything.
  5. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    Well I'm glad you survived! *hugs*

    I attempted the same thing the other day a couple times but it was making my eyes and my head pound and my neck and throat hurt so badly and I thought I was about to pass out and I guess I chickened out and took it off from around my neck.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Pharaoh welcome to the forum I for one am glad you made it. Next time you feel that way reach out and call crisis line okay. Can come here anytime to lots of support here
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