Well from day one we are taught to fight to survive, no matter what we have to endure. I have fought so long just to not give up. My stent in the army sucked what will was driving me for so long. It wasn't the army it is the rest of the country. I haven't met one civilian in real life that actually showed their appreciation for what I and my friends did, and some of them died for it. But every one that I see is out for themselves, don't care for their neighbors or service members until they see a uniform even then it's seems that it is just for them to say something nice. And so many of us died for the new president to start weakening our country and paying the Muslim brother hood , in Egypt, that killed everyone in our embassy. Why is this acceptable my all of these civillians, and woman , WTF. We go do the job that attracted you to us and you cant keep your fucking legs closed while your man is fighting for your freedom to be a ***** if you choose, which if that is what you choose don't marry us. So im about to board a plane and fly across country to pick the spot where I will take my last breath. Its not going to happen today but this summer I get to take a nice long ride across country. To this spot where I shan't be found, I have left every means behind just to pick my fortress of solitude so to speak. Also so when I complete my supposedly selfish act , that I don't leave anyone with a bill. I wonder how long this low might last from the new meds, will I just drive off a cliff will I just drive off the bridge into the lake. I haven't planned to but now these thought race through my head, I hope not I told my family that I was going for a job interview, so they are kinda expecting me back.