A teacher's loose comment (Warning, may trigger...)

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Sardonia, Mar 11, 2011.

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  1. Sardonia

    Sardonia Well-Known Member

    In my history class today, my teacher was trying to demonstrate the different government systems by making an example out of a student who happened to ask a question on a take-home quiz that we were allowed to ask questions on. He made a big discussion over how socialist, or capitalist or whatever it could be to give her the answer or not give her the answer and everyone was just tired of it and the girl was obviously frustrated. A few classmates and I offered some reasons to sate his obvious desire for a discussion. A classmate made a comment about how she may have been paying attention then just didn't understand at the time, and was now asking for clarification. There were others as well, however, my ill-fated comment was "What if she was going through a really tough experience, and she couldn't focus in class that day?" I knew this was ill-fated, because this was happening to me. I have been "relapsing," I guess you could say, back to how I felt/feel about the days and times that I was sexually harassed, and I've been trying to work through it and focus on my studies, but I haven't been able to do so. My teacher's "joking" comment was something about having to hold her hand, and help her, and comfort her, and he said all this in a very snide and mocking manner that made me feel very self-conscious. Also, this made me feel like my experience was nothing, and that it shouldn't matter that I was feeling all these things over again. I mean, because he was trying to prove a point, and it's not the first time he's said a loose comment like this, and it usually doesn't bother me. But this time it really got to me. Should I say something to the teacher about it? Should I let him know how his comment affected me, or should I just deal with it and get on with my life, since the other times his comments didn't bother me? Please help....
  2. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    If you really want to i guess you can talk to the teacher about how the comment felt, but you don't know how his reaction will be. It could be good to not expect him to understand or care too much, cause i think if he would then he wouldn't have made snide and mocking comments in the 1st place.
    Offcourse i could be wrong and maybe it's a very caring teacher.

    If you talk to him about it and he doesn't react like you want then try not to think too much about it, there will always be people that don't think about what influence it can have when they say something.And we shouldn't waste our time feeling bad about someone saying ignorant comments.

    Don't know if this helps but it's just the way i feel about it.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    He doesn't seem like a very caring person at all. If it bothers you i would tell him his words can hurt people and he should use them more carefully and leave it at that.
    iI he ask you to explain you can if you are comfortable if not the don't
    He needs to be told he is in a position to help others with his words so think before he sarcastically says things.
    Just my opinion though i think my anger here would have got me in some trouble because i would not be polite.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    As a substitute teacher myself, I try my best to make students feel comfortable in my classes. It sounds like your teacher was patronizing or trivializing the situation with his comment. I think you should tell him (privately) that his comment made you feel uncomfortable, otherwise he would have no way of knowing. Remember, teachers aren't mind readers. We're human too and we make mistakes. :smile:
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think you should do what would make you feel best...you were sensitive because of how personal your comment was and your teacher could not have known that, although he should have been more alert to why someone would comment as you did...there is no right or wrong here...the important thing is that you feel as best as you can...hope you are doing better today, J
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    what a pathetic teacher. its teachers like that that make me want to become one even more, to prove that teachers -can- and -are- good people. =.=

    have you spoken to him, since? i have had my share of bad teachers, but equally so, i have been particularly blessed with excellent teachers too -- some of which i still talk to today, even though i am no longer a high schooler.

    please try to remember that not all teachers are that horrible. if you can, try and see if you can get a different teacher, so that you don't have to deal with him.

  7. Buried

    Buried Member

    Do you have counselors at your school? My high school had phenomenal counselors, everyone talked to them about everything. If there are any, even if you've never spoken to one before, you might give it a shot. Their job is to help you balance your school with your personal life. They can be a mediator if you're uncomfortable talking to your teacher, or can just give you advice and support to talk to the teacher yourself.

    At any rate, the teacher needs to know that what he says is affecting students. If it made you uncomfortable, odds are it made other people feel bad too. If you're not a big talker, you could write a note and leave it on his desk sometime.
  8. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    We cant expect everyone to guess what were going through on a given day so why expect the teacher to be sympathetic to something he has no knowledge about?

    Teachers are there to teach and they have to be demanding, if you expect them to cater for each students own problems they would be so restricted they would end up not teaching anything.

    Just dont take it personally.
  9. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    It's unfortunate, but this is the way the world in general views those of us who may be more vulnerable or in times where we're unable to emotionally cope with the demands of living: "shut up, no one cares, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and stop whining."

    I second jota1's opinion that teachers cannot be expected to cater to everyone's personal problems or it would sacrifice much time and effort necessary to teach the academic subject efficiently. However, your teacher could have approached your comment in a more empathetic and professional manner, but I'd let it slide; after all he is entitled to his opinion, too, and it doesn't seem very objectionable from what you've told about it.
  10. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Put yourself into his frame of mind. If you expect him to understand you then you should try to understand him. Teachers often have to teach in a hostile environment. The kids are unruly and the teacher has to stay focused on the subject and the plan for the day. This is not always easy to do. The teacher can have tough days too. Just remind yourself that this is the teachers job and they're not a psychologist or a therapist. Maybe you should bring up your issue with the school counselor. I think that would be best.

    IF there is a school counselor. Teachers aren't therapists and there's no guarantee talking to him about it will resolve it. His job is still the same the next day and he still has to teach kids that don't want to be there. Keep that in mind. Maybe you could talk to the superintendent? Somebody in charge so you can ask how to cope with it? Counselor or nurse would be my first choice.

    By doing that one of the staff members will probably chat with the teacher about "problems in the class". This will hopefully set the teacher on a path where he is more cautious about what he says. I knew of a few teachers in HS that were booted out eventually because: a) too many flunking students b) too many complaints. A lot of it can be psychological.

    I think some teachers make it US vs THEM and this just makes things worse. These're poor teachers.

    I'm not condoning his actions or your own. Just because I"m having a bad day in school doesn't mean I can take it out on everyone else or not cooperate or not do my homework. Life is brutal, I agree. That's why we have therapists and counselors and close friends.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2011
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

  12. AlopexAngel

    AlopexAngel Chat Buddy

    I had a teacher like that once. I would tell him/her that those kind of comments make you uncomfortable. If they continue, I would bring up your concerns to the dean. It's true teachers have bad days but if this habitual, it's a problem and you shouldn't have to put up with it.
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