A Thank You From Fadingstars Best Friend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Fadingstar, Jan 5, 2009.

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  1. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    Good evening, i am fadingstar (Amy's) Best Friend and have just spent 2 days trying to hack into her bloody computer, and just wish to say thank you to you all who use this site, Amy has been in a very dark place for a long time and it seems she had found somewhere to turn in her hour of need, which i know she is very grateful for, i understand that sites like this recieve alot of bad press, yet i now understand that this is mostly from people who have no experience of feeling they have no where to turn, and i now know that site like this can be a safe haven for people.
    i have no idea how to find individuals who have helped Amy, taken the time to speak to her so this is for all those people, you will know who you are.

    "Thank YOU"

    and i know Amy was grateful to you all even if she did not express it.
     
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    don't you think that's an invasion of your friends privacy?
     
  3. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    well maybe, but i am only trying to find the people who had helped my best friend in the moments which i was unable to and thank them, and if you knew her, she would want me to do so
     
  4. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    is she alright?
     
  5. Fadingstar

    Fadingstar Guest

    no, this is why i am saying thank you to the people who were there in her darkest times, she will not be able to. But after knowing Amy for a long time she would not want these people to go unnoticed, like she had felt for a long time.
     
  6. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    is she dead? :unsure: sorry to be blunt...
     
  7. physician

    physician Well-Known Member

    Wasn't Fadingstar male??? Cuz he had a gf.... :unsure:
     
  8. GreenChick

    GreenChick Active Member

    This is a violation of the rules of the site. Also, as has been my experience in the past, often these posts "from a best friend of..." etc. are really the original poster themselves attempting to get sympathy for themelves by hearing how much everyone misses them. After all, how many "best friends' would post and express gratitude after a freind's suicide?

    Fadingstar, if this is you doing this, you are doing a VERY cruel and selfish thing and I hope you take it back and apologize. Right now. Those on this forum are hurting, and you have no right to play games with them.

    And if this is Fadingstar's "friend", if you ARE in fact a friend, you are being very cruel too. What do you think, that suicidal and upset people are going to be happy to hear that their friend is dead? Don't you realize this could trigger off more suicides, or more pain for those left behind? There are real people here with real problems. Please think before you post.
     
  9. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    Oh of course this is fake people!

    Seriously, 99.9999999999% of the time when this happens its fake.

    Ask yourself honestly.......when you die, would your family or friends actually log into this website, either under your name, or create a new name just to annouce your demise to people they dont even know????

    This is the kind of thing that should be banned outright, no questions asked. it does nothing but prey on the heartstrings of vulnerable people.
     
  10. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    perhaps it is fake, but perhaps it is not fake?

    we dont know who is really sitting behind that keyboard, it might just be her friend or family member and then again it might not be.. the admin would know, they have access to the ips and they could tell rather or not it is the same person.

    i know if one of my family members had suicided i myself probably would look at least at their emails to see what went wrong and why they did what they did.. if you truly love someone you will indeed pry into their lifes to see what happened or what went wrong, same thing as if you are a parent. you want the best for your child and you would try almost everything to protect them, now i am not a parent but if i was i would do anything to protect my child from any kind of hurt and if they would have been hurt enough to the point of suicide and had died you better believe it i would check their computer to see what led them to the point of suicide.

    if it is fake, then lets pray for the poster because they are hurting and need some help rather its attention or real suicide feelings. i agree with it being wrong to do such things, i myself never would do this but have been led to believe that someone had died ( peter ) it broke my heart and i really cried because i honestly loved him as a friend, then i later found out it was a lie and that was a double hurt upon me..

    i only ask that if this is a fake, then please if the original poster please say so and apologize because several here may have loved her deeply. we all hurt here and to lose a friend really hurts a lot especially if it is a lie that they passed. thank you

    White Dove
     
  11. HiddenMask

    HiddenMask Member

    If you look at previous posts of fadingstar you will see that this post and previous posts have a similar writing style which suggests its the same person. However i could be wrong and i am sorry to suggest it if so.

    Also if it is you i understand and don't blame you for anything but i do advise you to tell the truth before you make things worse. You maybe just wanted to see if people care and they do so end this by telling people the truth if this is you.
     
  12. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Yeah I'm certain this is a fake. The posts just really confused me, she darted about so much and wouldn't clearly say what had happened. It's actually pretty insulting it's so obvious she's lying.
     
  13. lauram

    lauram Member

    sadly this kind of thing is common - but speaking for myself i have a 'canned' note that i will send to a friend asking her to post to places and an email to send to people i correspond with regularly should something happen to me - regardless of the cause - suicide or not. i've made it clear that it is from ME and that the person posting it is my friend who has a list of places i frequent and my address book. i've had the uncomfortable experience of people just vanishing from a site with no one ever knowing what happened - and i'm ashamed to say i didn't really like the person he was difficult but felt terrible that he just didn't show up anymore and no one knew if he'd died - he had a terminal illness and didn't want people to have to wonder what happened to me. so, if i continue to post here and you see a post from me but saying it was posted by my friend gail that means i'm gone one way or another. i don't intend to disclose the details and hope she doesn't either - i don't think there is any benefit to anyone in that - it's sufficient to know that the person is gone and won't return. k, guess i'm on a rant tonight, sorry.
     
  14. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    can you people just shut up?
    a best friend is telling us what happend to amy, and all of you people are screaming its fake. ANYTHING could be fake over the internet, even your suicidal stories.. how would you feel if someone said fake on your threads?
    we have no proof if this is real or fake, so we act like its real because thats what the threadmaker says.
     
  15. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    Oh c'mon.....you'd really want a friend to post a messege on here saying that you had died? what purpose would that serve besides fulfilling your own grandious, self important, nassaccistic needs? :dry:
     
  16. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    people would like to know what happends to their friends.. damn, i wouldnt want any of my friends to suddently disapear without a word..
     
  17. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    You are right for the most part, but suicide is an extreme case. I would think that in cases of suicide it is better to just say nothing.

    In the case of suicide, I would refere to the old saying....."what I dont know wont hurt me"
     
  18. lauram

    lauram Member

    i wouldn't have my friend post how i died, just that i had - duh - because i know that people care even if sometimes, okay most of the time i can't feel it. it isn't about me, it's about them and how they feel. if i'm dead i won't know how they feel but i do remember how i felt when that guy disappeared, i always wondered what happened - he was waiting for a kidney transplant and quite ill and i didn't like him but i cared and one day he just stopped coming to the chats. i felt guilty so i imagine if i just disappeared people who know me would wonder - it's called compassion and kindness not '' because i wouldn't know. in fact most of my online friends, none of whom are suicidal as far as i know, have similar arrangements for just that reason. when people we know in real life die we usually know by a phone call but here online that's not usually an option but that doesn't mean we care any less about people we meet. i've been online since 1996 and care deeply about some people i know and would be very upset if they just suddenly stopped communicating with me, i'd wonder what happened and if i offended them. so that's why i've asked gail to send out an email telling my friends how much i care but NOT and i repeat NOT saying that i killed myself even if that is what happened. all the email says is that i was glad that they chose to share their life with me, that knowing them enriched my life and i hope that they know that i cared for them and hope that life treats them kindly but that i have passed on and my friend has kindly agreed to let them know. that's it, no mention of how or why because until it happens i don't know and frankly i think it would be cruel to tell them if it's suicide and would serve no purpose except to hurt them. of course gail would know, she knows me in real life but she too knew the man who disappeared from our chats and feels as i do so we have agreed to send email for one another in two instances - a long illness that prevents us from being online or death by whatever means. i don't see how that is self-serving unless you think we'll somehow see the responses from either intensive care or our gaves.
     
  19. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    "i wouldn't have my friend post how i died, just that i had - duh - because i know that people care even if sometimes, okay most of the time i can't feel it. it isn't about me, it's about them and how they feel. "

    Bullshit

    If you really cared about there feelings you wouldnt inform them of your death at all. How would you're online friends know? unless you or someone else told them. All you have to do is not tell them.

    If its not about you, then why tell them?..........

    Just admit it.............You'd tell them becasue you want them to feel the pain of your death, therefore justifying your exsitence on this planet. Thats the only reason why people write suicide notes or annouce there death, because they want there death to matter to others. They want there absence to mean something. Its totally self serving!
     
  20. lauram

    lauram Member

    you may disagree with me as much as you wish, but there is no way to justify my existance on this planet - i didn't ask for it so can't justify it. and if i'm not here to know that they've been told how do i benefit? i don't want others to feel the pain of my death, although some surely will regardless of how i die. my online friends will know if i disappear and will be asking one another - it's happened when someone's been ill or lost their ability to get online - or in my case when the hurricanes struck and i was unable to get online for a few weeks.

    but as i said if you think telling others of someone's death is self-serving then there is no need for an obituary and my grandmother planning and paying for her funeral to spare her children the pain and expense of doing it was also self serving i guess - although my mom and her sisters didn't see it that way. they saw it as the final gift of their mother. you have the right to your opinion as do i and i believe we shall have to agreed to disagree on this but i refuse to become disagreeable in the process.
     
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