A thought

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stormhand, Dec 5, 2008.

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  1. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    You know to this day I still have thought of killing myself, cause I do not believe my life has any significance in this world.
    All I see is a man with a seizure disorder who did not ask for it, who got a real tough life..I guess you could say I got a bad bargaining chip.
    All day every day its the same thing, get up, watch tv or on the computer..and sit around til bed time..when ever I feel that may be..it just has never been easy..to get a job I can hold and will not get fired over my seizures I have to go through a state department..which btw I am still waiting for results on..I can't drive so I am stuck at home til a friend decides to come over..nothing about my life has ever been up to me, as in my own hands, I in some way have always had to rely on others..and that just erks me to no end!!

    So I have to think is being dead better or worse then being this miserable.
  2. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. My best friend has seizures and she can't really go anywhere at all. I am the only friend she has left, and all we can do is just sit around her house.

    Our school "suggested" that she be homeschooled because she had been hurt twice at school and they didn't want to be held responsible.

    Have you ever considered a dog that can predict seizures? A friend of my aunts suffered from grand mal seizures her whole life. With the dog, she could drive, go places alone, and she's had a consistent job for almost fifteen years.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi stormhand,

    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low..I can't really offer you any advice because I don't know anything about your seizures etc..but I am here if you need a friend :) Take care hun
  4. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    thanks, its nice to know I have someone to talk to.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Stormhand,
    I don't have seizures but I also am stuck at home for the most part from augoriphobia and socialphobia, amongst other problems. I spend all my time Isolated to my bedroom. It's been like this for the last fifteen years. My therapist has me getting out of the house a little here and there. When I get home I go straight to my bedroom and take a xanax to help calm me down. When I am out I have white outs where I don't remember anything. I have found my self sitting in my car in the driveway and don't remember even driving home. My sister yells at me when I tell her what happened. She tells me to call her and she will come and get me. I can't seem to get her to understand I don't know I am out of it until I find myself just sitting there in my car. Needless to say I don't feel safe driving, I am afraid I will hurt someone. Take Care!~Joseph~
  6. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i know exactly how you feel stormhand as i live with epilepsy and i hate it with a vengance to the point where i cant cope. i hate being such a burden on people. family, friends, doctors as well as my psychs. i hate the fact that i didnt ask for it. one by one my friends have gone because they dont like coping with it and its made me feel so isolated. i just want to let you know that your not alone in having this horrible thing go on in your head seemingly all the time and you are definitly not alone in the way you feel
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