a tiny rant before bedtime

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blank_page, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. blank_page

    blank_page Member

    I need to have a rant before I go to sleep, get it all off my chest.

    Had a horrid day, My mum, best friend and boyfriend all said they'd ring me today, and not one of them did. Rang home and mum was all apoligetic, best friend made excuses about being snowed under with uni work and her job (i only wanted a tiny conversation, jesus christ!). sometimes I just feel so undervalued :(
    and my boyfriend? well, we talked on msn and suddenly he wants to talk about where this relationship is going in the future. Been together for nearly 6 years and he has to ask that?! bloody hell. basically i've been at uni away from home for nearly 3 years and am coming back home. I want to train as an actress for a year, but hopefully back at home where i live. He said he's already waited for 3 years for me to settle down with him and get a flat together, and he cant wait any longer. sigh. I love him and I want to marry him, but EVENTUALLY! Can't he just let me train for another year, get this acting bug out of my system and SUPPORT me???! he says hes not giving me an ultimatum, but thats what it feels like. He basically wants me to, after uni, get a 9 to 5 office job, get a flat, see eachother in the mornings, have tea at night then go to bed. He says thats life, thats a normal relationship that he wants with me. ARGH but i want to make my passion my job, and that requires ONE MORE YEAR. I'll hopefully be training in our hometown, so we can possibly live together then. I dont want to move away for another 3 years, I think he wasnt sure where I was planning on going. The fact that I DO want to train near home has comforted him.

    I guess my rant is pretty minor, he does have a point, hes thinking about us long term, he wants to make a life and a future for us, which is what i want. And he says he will support me. Am going back home soon so we can discuss it further. I know we'll be alright. I think he's just scared that I'm not thinking about us in the long term, because I guess even men get scared sometimes right?! I love him to bits. I know he would never stop me doing anything I want to do, he said he'd help me in any way he could. I just think we've both been under stress recently, and I think he needed reassurance, which I understand.

    Thanks for reading! Its pretty minor, but we hardly ever have dissagreements and i guess its added to my ongoing feelings of gloom.

  2. redheadsweetie

    redheadsweetie Active Member