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A Tough weekend for me.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kobosis, Apr 19, 2015.

  1. Kobosis

    Kobosis Member

    So.. here i am again.

    Sitting awake after midnight, trying to think of a reason to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow.

    It has got to the stage now where the only time i can function is if i have some kind of way out of everything if it gets too much.

    I sleep with boxes of tablets close to hand and a knife if things get really bad. It's starting to become a joke now! I was doing so well through the week and now i'm back to my old pathetic ways again.

    It's getting close to my 22nd birthday (June) and im really starting think and kind of wish that i won't make it that far.

    Just a matter of time before it all becomes too much for me and i just let go of the very lose grip i have on life.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi kobosis,
    I am sorry you had such a rough weekend. Were there any triggers to this flare up?

    PLEASE do not sleep with a knife and pills beside you, it's just dangerous, a recipe for disaster. You can make your 22nd birthday as long as you are willing to fight this and I believe you can. Do not play with fire you will get burned! It must be really hard for you right now if you're considering ending your life. Just know you have us and we do care here!