I came so close this morning. The only thing holding me back is the guilt related to my parents. What a burden I'd create for them. Not that I'm not already a burden. They're in their seventies and have had to come over today to babysit me. How embarrassing for a 40-year-old man to still need his parents to bail him out. I've been too nervous to go to work the past two days. And while I feel guilty about it, I just don't care. My brother / business partner is back on Monday. That's when the s#$@ will hit the fan because he doesn't believe in mental illness. It's mind over matter he says. "Just pick yourself up. We all have problems. We all have responsibilities." Right now, though, I just don't care about anything. The folks want me to go for a walk, go hit some golf balls, anything. I spent 25 minutes on the excerise bike...that didn't help. How can I go play, if I can't even work? I see no future.