A User...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I'm a fucking user.. Though no one would really know it..

    Without people here in life or online.. When I'm alone.. I break.. I get urges to do self destructive behaviors.. I get urges to use drugs.. I can sometimes get myself into a lot of trouble..

    So.. How am I a user..?

    I talk to you all here.. I hang out with friends constantly..

    It's like I need constant re-assurance I exist.. Constant re-assurance that I'm worth something..

    Yet I'm typically anti-social... I don't trust many people.. and alone I can't always trust myself..

    I feel fucked up.. Because in the same sense.. people who talk to me constantly about similar subjects or just in general.. or if their attitude is off.. it can piss me off and I end up breaking connections.. I'm fucked up.. A fucking user.. And I'm not sure how to explain it further..

    I feel no purpose alone.. I'm just fucked up..

    I do stupid stuff.. I dress up and walk around in public.. Mostly for attention.. for looks.. for anything.. sigh :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2011
  2. musicalpsycho

    musicalpsycho Active Member

    It would be good if you could find the root of your behaviour if possible. In the meantime, you need to keep in mind that your behaviour isn't always your fault. I have all this anger and combined with my insecurities, it's not a good mix and I snap at people and burn bridges without even meaning to. Psycho-therapy might be able to help you find some answers within yourself. But talking to people is good, because isolation can often make your situation even worse than it already is.