A Very Painful Betrayal Done To Me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Aquariamethystea, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. Well, I received proof today from someone I know, that another person who I know and love very much, has been leading me on, in order to horrendously hurt me sometime whenever she decided to do so. One of the motives might have been to keep me around for comfort purposes, until the ex decides to accept her back, then to dump me off.

    Anyways, right now, I'm in so much pain, so angry, so hurt, and so scared. I even thought of signing myself into a ward, because I really don't want some cold-hearted, manipulative person to destroy me to the point where I kill myself. If I suicide, I want it to be to escape from my other problems. I already caused a friendship with someone to end, because I defended her. I didn't want her to die, and I thought my friend was trying to end the relationship, rather than counseling her to stay alive. Now I see that perhaps my friend was just trying to spare me of more pain, which obviously was being caused to me by her saying she'd rather die than to be with me.

    At least with Cynthia, I wasn't lead on, I wasn't lied to, and I was broken up with on fairly understandable terms, even though I was still hurt. When she told me it was over, she meant it. She didn't lie to me about that either. She never false proposed to me, and she never pretended to love me, she did love me, I loved her, yet it didn't work out for us, even though I wish it did. Also, Cynthia never said something like this behind my knowledge:
    Engaged...ah...honestly, I don't want to talk about it. It's...awkward and...okay.
    We've been talking about you lots though. Wondering where in the world you've been, girl!

    How is it that the engagement is awkward? You didn't want to talk about it? Why not? Is it because you never really believed in us? Is it because I haven't "proven" myself to you? How could you treat me like this, when you told me many times that I am "perfect"? I suppose I was the perfect temporary boyfriend for you, so disposeable, after all, I am just a "Broken Product".

    This "Broken Product" won't be your "whore", as you have been calling me as of late. If you loved me, you wouldn't be calling me that anyways. Why I even joked back with you about it, is a sign of my weakness. No more. If you want me, you should treat me better than that. Anyways, I'm going to think about my other issues, and I hope that at least one of them will bother me enough, I'll finally do what I've been wanting to do for the past year.
     
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I hope things work out for you two, and I hope you're reading too much into that comment.
     
  3. Thank you, Blackness. I really hope that most of what I wrote, is just paranoid ramblings of mine, rather than being real. I really do love her. Time will tell.
     
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :unsure::eek:hmy: Aww hun. :hug: I'm going to message you now. Hang in there, ok?
     
  5. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I do hope you find the right one soon Kurt.
     
  6. Thank you, Shadowlands.
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Kurt you have been through similar things before and survived. You can do it again. While there is nothing wrong with finding someone over the internet, I think you should try to be more careful about falling and proffessing undying love until you have at least met.Then if it works out for you it was meant to be that way. I am sorry this has happened and hope you can at least meet up as you had planned and see where things go from there. Chin up Kurt. :hug:
     
  8. This doesn't make sense:

    <mod edit Robin - Do not post personal conversations on a public board>


    I received that message this morning on MSN. I have no idea what it means.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2007
  9. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    *hugs* stay strong sweets
     
  10. From Tool's 10,000 Days :

    You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
    Shake your fists at the gates saying:
    "I've come home now!
    Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father.
    Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
    It's time now!
    My time now!
    Give me my, give me my wings!"
     
  11. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Actually I'm going to uphold the previous persons comment (which I deleted to preserve her anonymity) feelings on this matter, you did this with Cynthia I will not let you do this to another member, as of now you are on warning, do not dig up any more of your ex's old threads and do not post private conversations or details about another member on this forum.

    Yes you are entitled to support but not at the expense of another member, should you date another person on SF and then subsequently treat them aslo in this manner you will be placed under moderation permanently.

    Here is the post made by your ex which I have posted here instead:

     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2007
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