Well, I received proof today from someone I know, that another person who I know and love very much, has been leading me on, in order to horrendously hurt me sometime whenever she decided to do so. One of the motives might have been to keep me around for comfort purposes, until the ex decides to accept her back, then to dump me off. Anyways, right now, I'm in so much pain, so angry, so hurt, and so scared. I even thought of signing myself into a ward, because I really don't want some cold-hearted, manipulative person to destroy me to the point where I kill myself. If I suicide, I want it to be to escape from my other problems. I already caused a friendship with someone to end, because I defended her. I didn't want her to die, and I thought my friend was trying to end the relationship, rather than counseling her to stay alive. Now I see that perhaps my friend was just trying to spare me of more pain, which obviously was being caused to me by her saying she'd rather die than to be with me. At least with Cynthia, I wasn't lead on, I wasn't lied to, and I was broken up with on fairly understandable terms, even though I was still hurt. When she told me it was over, she meant it. She didn't lie to me about that either. She never false proposed to me, and she never pretended to love me, she did love me, I loved her, yet it didn't work out for us, even though I wish it did. Also, Cynthia never said something like this behind my knowledge: Engaged...ah...honestly, I don't want to talk about it. It's...awkward and...okay. We've been talking about you lots though. Wondering where in the world you've been, girl! How is it that the engagement is awkward? You didn't want to talk about it? Why not? Is it because you never really believed in us? Is it because I haven't "proven" myself to you? How could you treat me like this, when you told me many times that I am "perfect"? I suppose I was the perfect temporary boyfriend for you, so disposeable, after all, I am just a "Broken Product". This "Broken Product" won't be your "whore", as you have been calling me as of late. If you loved me, you wouldn't be calling me that anyways. Why I even joked back with you about it, is a sign of my weakness. No more. If you want me, you should treat me better than that. Anyways, I'm going to think about my other issues, and I hope that at least one of them will bother me enough, I'll finally do what I've been wanting to do for the past year.