You'll recall when I said I have a serious phobia of being dead and dying. Well while I have a serious fear of death, I also have a huge fascination with it. Scientifically and spiritually. Lately being at home, jobless and not going to school has began to depress me. Jobs are a lot harder to get then I thought, and I've had no luck getting one. My fiance is taking a hiatus on his school to try to work, since it's stressing him out. Since being home is depressing me, I've decided to look for a career to go to college for. Then I found something perfect. A mortician(funeral director). Like I said before, I have a large fascination with death, and I've always wanted a job that involved it. Not everyone can handle this job. I want to give it a try, and going to school and getting out of the house will be good for me. And maybe dealing with death first hand will help me overcome the fear and become numb to it. I need to learn to accept that death happens to everyone and it's inevitable. I may or may not enjoy the job, but I won't know until I try.