Ive been having thoughts about cutting, just a little. It hurts that i dont share my life with someone. But it also hurts because i know that one day if someone let me, i would ruin it in some way. I believe that i am doomed no matter what happens. i cant stop thinking about how ultimatly lonley i am, how frustrated i am with life at the moment. I am impatient by nature. I want things to happen right away sometimes. But most of the time i think, things will be the same. everything i have tried to do, or gained ive lost due to my own stupidity. i guess im just waiting for the next blow to hit. At the moment crying is not enough of an outlet. Niether is exercise. But if i cut myself i would be crossing a line that i never thought was possible for me. Perhaps it is the only way to gain some relief from the pain right now.