I am in total hell. Can't get out of it. Alone. Can't sleep. Can't get a job. Can't fill even a second of my time.y brain hurts so much. Everyday I want it to be the last. Things are only getting worse.
I think that "doing nothing every day" is what makes the time "hell", you know? When you're doing nothing but sitting in your house smoking and watching TV then you don't have too much going on. I can see why you'd be depressed if that were the case. As it happens, people who *do things* are less depressed because they have routine and schedule. Having a job, volunteering, taking care of something, etc are known to decrease depression. Maybe you should try to help yourself in some way rather than wallowing in that.
I'm going to presume you're in America since you make a reference to health insurance. Is Medicaid an option for you? Medicaid might be able to help you with healthcare costs if you can't afford private insurance. @GMody is right. It seems like you are struggling with depression and treatment like therapy may help you.
You say you can't get anything done. Maybe you should try making a list and work down the list. Maybe this can help you organize what you need to do.
I hope you can feel better soon. Stay safe. Sending hugs .
You think that people here don't feel the same way you do, but they have - and do. But the difference is that we have no other option but to get things done. There is a luxury in staying in bed like a mushroom in the dark but getting up and getting dressed and doing something with your time is what will alleviate the way you're feeling. Getting some help for yourself is the step you need to take, not just saying that "nothing helps". You've not tried "everything". You've been on this site for 12 hours and have made 145 posts that all say life is pointless and nothing is helpful. The people here have all been where you are.