Everyday I think how can things get worse, I usually feel suicidal everyday, but I have had a worse week then normal and have been struggling a lot. The last few days have been awful, I made a mistake that could of broke my car and left me getting a bus to work everyday which is nearly impossible as we have rubbish buses, then something else happened, then something else. Then there was jealousy with a guy. Its been a bad week, the something else happening parts as because I dont want people to know who I am, kept myself hidden from my family 21 years dont need them finding out now. Sigh Anyway I am struggling, been wanting to drink constantly and only been able to later at night. My back is agony and I can't bend down to pick stuff up lol! Having near constant suicide feelings. Ack! I posted here once, then a month later, now I'm posting a couple of times a week. Whats going to happen in 6months? Am I going to be able to cope? I don't see me out living this year. Everytime I take out something like a new bank account I make sure to buy the insurance so my familys not left with debt.