Please accept my apologises if I could have got back on the boards sooner I would have, I'm sorry. I took another overdose on Friday nite and was admitted to hospital, because I've previously taken overdoses and been admitted I was kept in for 72 hours to allow them to evulate me (like some science project...oh fucking great). apprentely I am sane (woohoo), I "just" have very bad coping mechnisms which involve taking tablets and need to look at over ways to deal with intense feelins. I don't feel like its a victory surviving, more of a let down...I wanted to die, I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to sleep forever. The only difference between today and friday, is that my records now have "suicidal", "attempted suicide" and god knows what other labels they want to give me. I don't see a future, I try living for each day, taken each day, each hour and each minute as it comes...but even then the thoughts remain, the feelings towards myself remain, the love that I want but can't get is missing, the feelings of being on my own are still there..28 years of being on my own, fighting to survive, the constant battles in my mind, depression clouding my head I don't even want to think about another day let alone another year of feeling like this. I don't know what to do, I feel stuck and I can't get out...any help, advice would be much appreicated.