A Year Ago Yesterday (my story)

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by newerme, Feb 7, 2013.

  1. newerme

    newerme New Member

    This is a little story about me. It's 100% honest. Probably a little tmi. Some people know it already, but most people don't. I'm not sharing this because I want sympathy or congratulations or anything to that extent. I just want to inspire people, help even one person, let everyone know that no matter what, life gets better. So here it is:

    It was a year ago yesterday that I was admitted to the BHU for trying to end my life. Life seemed too hard and it didn't feel like there was anything to fix anything. I had no hope and didn't believe anyone could help me. My knees are scarred and my back hurts everyday. These physical pains just remind me of the emotional pain I felt that day and for years leading up to that day. However, the psychological pain I felt was much worse than the physical pain I felt when I jumped. Every time my back hurts when I get up or I see my scars while looking in the mirror, I am reminded of this time in my life. Looking back, I realize how much I've changed since then. I would have never imagined that my life would be the way it is now. Mainly because I am happy. Maybe not all the time, every second of every day, but overall, I'm completely happy with my life, and no one can change that. I left my abusive ex, I quit all the drugs that held me down, I reunited with the friends I left behind and made new friends that now mean the world to me, and I enjoy all the things I was once interested in and more. I have a great family, awesome friends, and an amazing boyfriend. I brought my grades up and I got a job. I keep myself busy, but I save time for myself. I go through rough times, but I make it out alive every time, and that's all that really matters in the end. I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, probably more than most people could even imagine, but I can out stronger every time. I learn and grow from everything I do, and I am finally happy with the person that I am. I know that I am growing more everyday, and this makes me excited for the future. I can't wait to see the person that I will become if I can only get better from now. My life is no where near perfect, but no one's is. I'm still here and I can honestly say that I am happy that I didn't succeed in what I planned a year ago yesterday.

    Whenever you are going through rough times just remember that things get better. Stop complaining about life and take a look around you. Take a minute to realize what you have and who you have in your life. Remember all the hard times you have made it through so far. And remember that you are alive right now. Stop wishing you could be happy and just be happy. And if you ever think that the only option is to end it all, just think about everything you will miss out on in the future. You never know where you'll be a year from now.
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Newerme, thank you for posting this here..much so.. So much desperation and suicidal ideation on here.. Hearing from you, that things better now and you want to on now, gives me some faith and hope today..

    Take Care, Jim
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun i am so happy to hear you left your abusive life style and made a new one for you hun way to go Thanks for sharing your story hun it will give others hope that they too can have a brighter future hugs to you.