It is so clear now, there is something wrong with my brain. The simplest parts of social interaction, things which are second nature to most people, are impossible to me I look like a god-damned fool just trying to talk to another person. even trying to keep a positive frame of mind, act as friendly as I can, muster up all the courage i possibly can, they still see right through me I don't know what is wrong with me and I doubt I will ever know. I just want to be normal so badly and it seems impossible. Fuck. How could life be so horrible? Is this really all there is? Fuck it.