Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by Wonderstuff, Nov 9, 2006.

  1. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    First today I was being too clingy. And now I just got online to find that one of my best friends has been worried and paranoid because I didn't answer his texts. My phone battery has been low today, it was low yesterday and today it went from three bars down to one. By the time I got home I thought it was weird he hadn't texted back but I figured he was having dinner or something. So I left it. And then I fell asleep. And I logged on here and it was like, "Oh, you *are* alive" (except obviously not. But that's what she should have said).
    Basically if I had got off my ass and charged my phone last night or even this morning (hell, I didn't leave the house until 1.15, I had plenty of time) it would have been ok! A shining example of my stupidity getting people hurt :(
    Again.

    Oh, I don't know. Everything can be going along fine and then suddenly, wham. Something just sets me off. Last night it was my mother. Tomorrow it could be that I don't get out early from my IT test. Why do people even bother? I ramble my ass off, then I start laughing for no reason, and then I hurt them.

    I have a big English essay due Monday, and a Psychology online project too which I completely forgot about, despite the fact that I have had practically three full days off uni this week because it's the Reading Week for English and all English department classes have been cancelled. And I've been so happy lately...someone has been making me so happy, and then I go and do things like this, and change in a second.

    I don't know why anyone bothers with me. It seems like all I do is hurt people :( Intentionally or not, that's still not the kind of person I want to be.
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug:

    I'm glad you're ok :)

    I bother with you because you are a very kind, caring, great person .... :)

    You take care hun :)

    Joe
     
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hun it's not your fault, you are just being "human" everyone makes mistakes, I forget to charge my phone all the time. NO-ONE is perfect, and it seems that's what you expect from yourself.


    You are a very good person and a valuable member of this little community/family. Try not to bash yourself too hard, you do mucu much more good that bad.....nuture yourself not exicute.


    I am here for you if you want to talk, just PM me or MSN me, painNsiolence@hotmail.com ...don't hesitate. Try and take care and stay safe, and remember we are all here and care for ya deeply. :hug: :hug:



    PS - I hope the venting helped some. :)
     
  4. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Hey I hope it helped to vent as well... Like has been said, we all make mistakes... and you are a very caring and special person. I bother with you because I want to and I think you're a great person... even if you dont quite agree with me. :hug:

    TDM
     
  5. Jess

    Jess Guest

    I don't know why anyone bothers with me. It seems like all I do is hurt people Intentionally or not, that's still not the kind of person I want to be

    First of all,. :hug: lauren. Hun, ALL you ever do to me is make me laugh or make me smile. I LOVE talking to you. You're not a person that hurts people intentionally at all.. and not even unintentionally. That's the kind of person we ALL are. everyone makes mistakes.. and those mistakes occasionally hurt people we care about. but you dont mean it!!! that's what REALLY matters. :hug:

    Texting is goofy :blink: s'all I can say. Sometimes I send someone a message, at maybe 8pm and I dont get a text back till like 10am the next morning because thats when they got it.. not that that's exactly or even close to whats going on with you and the other person you mentioned.. but still. Cant rely on texts.. and so you didn't charge your phone. SHIT HAPPENS :tongue: and if someone can't understand that.. that's their problem. If they're worth your time then they should very well know that you're a terrific person that has ONLY good intentions

    :hug: sorry if that's complete BS.. but I care about you and You've NEVER EVER hurt me
     
  6. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    :grouphug:
    Thanks guys...for everything. I'm sorry, I'm just a bit all over the place at the moment. I should apologise to Bunny, Jess and especially Joe for last night as well :( Sugar highs and the resulting extreme hyperness/lowness are not my friends :(

    ...And now I'm lazy AND ungrateful. Well, it's nothing that my own mother hasn't already told me.
    I can't deal with day to day stuff. Some things have to be special. I know this isn't making any sense. But there is someone who is offering me everything, practically, and I'm turning it down, and I know I couldn't offer it back. (I mean physical objects, not emotions)
    And I know I'm not asking for it, but it makes me feel guilty, and I know they're just trying to help, but I can't do that, I just can't take any of it. I feel guilty knowing that if I say something they'll jump in and try to do it for me. My uncle is like that. I have to watch what I say around him, or else if I mention a book or something he'll go out and buy me it. If I say I'm going somewhere, he'll offer me a lift. I can't start watching what I say around you too. I like you so much and I know you're just trying to help but I can't do it. You don't have to understand, just...gah.
     
  7. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: You don't have to apologise hun - everyone needs support, and I'm more than happy to support ya - and I'm sure Bunny and Jess are too :)

    You're not lazy and ungrateful hun - you're neither of those things :hug:

    I'll give you these :hug: :arms: :hug: :)

    Hope they help

    Joe
     
  8. Jess

    Jess Guest

    no need to ever EVER apologize to me lauren. you know I've done much worse to you. You've absolutely nothing to apologize for. love ya :hug: