I quit. On top of everything else that I am dealing with right now, my water pipes to the house have burst. I do not have the money to fix them and all water to the house has to be off until they are repaired. It was bad enough that they froze up, but at least I knew when it warmed up I would have water back. So now, no heat, no water in the middle of the winter where temps can reach -40°F. I thought I could deal with this. I have before, but not anymore. It is just too much. I should be grateful. I am not homeless. I have a bed to sleep in at night even if I can see my breath from the chill. I have a job. I should be thankful. I am, but it just isn't enough. Exactly what am I fighting for? Fighting to be miserable? Fighting for nightmares? Fighting the illness only to lose? Fighting for pain? Fighting to be abused? Fighting to live a life not worth living? Why? Can't I wave the white flag of surrender? I humbly accept defeat. I lose.