Right now I switch between feeling full of anger and full of sadness by being abandoned by certain people in my life. Timeline November 28, 2015- Best friend committed suicide December- Precancer on cervix June-Kidney Stones July-Moved and Friend disappears without a trace. He can't be found. I'm angry, I have crying spells, I'm going into isolation little by little and I always want to be left alone. Now I'm starting to feel numb. I'm starting not to care anymore and I used to be so loving and sweet. What happened to me?? 2015 and 2016 is the worst years of my life. Everyone keeps telling me that they care, I no longer feel it anymore. I feel so alone. I feel so stupid. I trusted these people.....I thought they were my friends. They all disappeared the minute something tragic happened in my life. I've actually bottled this in for so long. I can't bottle it in anymore. I'm close to exploding. I can't wait until I see my therapist soon. I see her next week. I'm actually counting down the days. I didn't even try to control them or tell them not to leave me, they just left. Just like that. I didn't even hurt myself when they left. All I did was cry. Due to depression I hardly eat anything and my mother has to remind me to eat. It's because of the sadness, because they all left me. I want to cuss and scream right now. I'm angry!! I'm sad.... I feel all alone. I'm not even messaging anyone anymore. If they need to talk to me. They can come to me. I'm tired of going to people.