Abandonment issues?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheLonelyAloePlant, Jun 17, 2012.

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  1. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    For some reason, being left behind really upsets me. I'm not sure when this started, but when people leave, whether it be death or going on vacation, I get very emotional. I'm thinking it has something to do with my childhood abuse from my father. My mom would leave me alone with him, and he would hit me and yell at me. Could there be any other possible reasons?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry that you had to go through this...and maybe it is a possible reason you have abandonment issues. I have them too, and it can be really hard to deal with. I fear that everyone will eventually leave me, because I've lost so many people through death and just from them leaving my life. Some people have proven that they won't leave, but I still have that fear in the back of my mind. It can be a very difficult thing to deal with. Maybe if you talk to a therapist or someone about it, they might be able to help you.
  3. TheLonelyAloePlant

    TheLonelyAloePlant Well-Known Member

    I lie to my therapist a lot because I'm embarrassed.
  4. anotherearthplease27

    anotherearthplease27 Well-Known Member

    i understand you lying to them....it's hard to open up. for the longest time my therapist and i wouldn't talk about alot...or i found myself saying what i thought they wanted to hear.........................soon i realized that i wasn't helping myself by not being truthful...so i opened up. plus, i figured what the.....i might as well since i am paying them. therapy started to go so much better after that. my therapist even said they appreciated me opening up..

    i guess to make a long story short.....do not be embarassed...they are there to help you....we are all human and need help now and again.

    if your therapist is making you uncomfortable...or you don't feel like you can open up to them, get a new therapist...nothing wrong with that.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, LonelyAloePlant. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I think your experiences were tough - they would be for pretty most everyone. Lots of people dislike good byes or being left alone. I had to grow into being able to enjoy time by myself.

    Have you ever made a list of all the things that go through your mind when you are "left alone" or must "say good-bye"? That might help you trace back all the things that could trigger your responses. Another thing to remember is that even when we are alone, we still have all the caring that others have given us in the past - albeit in the form of memories and experience. And if the sense of being alone gets to you, you can always come to SF for company.

    As you learn more about yourself and get happier with who you are, I'd bet that these "abandonment issues" improve for you. Many hugs and know that I'm thinking of you, today! :smile:
  6. red ribbons

    red ribbons Well-Known Member

    All of life is about people, places, and things coming into your life and leaving it. That's what life is. I think we are the most sensitive, kind, caring, loving, people, and it hurts us the worst-we always feel abandoned whether it's from childhood issues or just being sensitive-it hurts and we feel rejected. The only person we really have a relationship with our whole lives is ourselves and that is pretty lonely. You just try to live for the good moments in life where another person will connect with you, really mean it, and care about you for who you are, not as an object to be used and abused. WE HURT deeply inside.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2012
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