about guilt after self harm..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Maxii.., Jan 3, 2007.

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  1. Maxii..

    Maxii.. Well-Known Member

    ..everyone says they feel ashamed.. and don't want anyone to know..
    i don't really care.. i just cover up my scars so people won't bother me.. and really don't care about what anybody thinks..
    how about you?..
     
  2. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    if you cover them up and dont care what others think... we all care, and have that guilty feeling because we are human... but what more can you except...

    to me, i hate myself for even doing it in the first place, everytime i have cut myself, i think back to the first time i took it to my wrist and cut it... it was the first time i had felt numb, and i did feel guilty... but that was because it was my first time, and now everytime i do... because i feel like i am losing a piece of myself, and i cant stop...

    BP
     
  3. jjustme

    jjustme Guest

    I want that nobody knows... It's just, I know that it's not a good way to copy with my feelings, and I'm afraid of their reactions. I've a very low self-esteem and I know I feel bad when somebody tells me i'm a loser because I cut. I don't want it, but it's importatn for me what they think of me. I don't wanna be bullied, I don't wanna be a loser.
    That's why I always pretend everything's okay... I feel guilty because I think it's not normal to cut, I feel guilty because I DID IT, and other people can live without it... I have to lie again, I have to hide again
     
  4. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    I only feel guilty sometimes because I'm thinking to myself I could have done it differently! I didn't need to cut! There was another way around it, I know there was! And I'm just kind of ashamed that I didn't do it differently, didn't talk to someone or something.
     
  5. sorry_mozart

    sorry_mozart Well-Known Member

    I agree with Lost Disciple - I get ashamed that I couldn't think of a more constructive response to my pain than cutting. I always wish I hadn't done it. I tend to do it really messy too, 'cause it's so impulsive and I just use whatever weapon's to hand. At the time it's like hitting a reset button in my head, once the blood starts to flow, but afterwards I feel so bad. No-one knows I started doing it again, after 6 years without. I couldn't stand for them to find out, but I know I'll have to explain again sooner or later, to someone who just can't understand, and is completely repelled by it.
     
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    When I started cutting I didn't want people to know, or see, but that was because of the stigma surrounding it, rather than me feeling guilty. I actually felt so relieved to have found an outlet that worked for me. But I knew if other people found out they wouldn't see it that way, so I kept it hidden.

    Now, however, I feel really ashamed every time after I cut or burn. I feel ashamed when I see my scars. This is entirely because of my mum's reaction when she found out.
     
  7. Wiseman

    Wiseman Member

    To cover ones scars is to imply a guilty conscience on your behalf
    No matter what you say the truth seeps out
    The pain in your heart bleeds freely through the jagged scars beneath ones cloth.

    Try to get better, okay?
     
  8. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i used to hide my scars from everyone, but that was at the beggining,now i don´t care if people see it, ecept for the people who knows me becaus ethey just don´t stop bottering me every time they see a scar.. but that´s me..
     
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