hello, my name is Tanya, im 102 years old(at least thats what it feels like), I hate birthdays(whats the point to that.. what am i celebrating?, being born?, being alive?)...the good thign is.. i might be the older one in this forum!! so i win in that!! :stars: i've been looking for a forum like this for a long time... specially when i was in my darkest times... im glad i found it now though... I used to be really happy and full of miles.. the gray days where then so scarse... Its over though i hardly smile... and when i do its an empty smile.. on an empy body.. one wich fills itself with obscure parts... its so hard to be prettendig these days specially since im cryign now.. almost everynight... i hate to see myself in the mirror... (the good part is... im a little beter now.. i used to cover them with whatever i could find... I coulnt even have the ourgae it takes.. when the pain is soo overwhelming... but i found some other ways... i did what i had to.. and now i wish i did not had... but really whats the point... i cant go back... i cant go there and tellmyself.. that thigns would be better... because i would be lying ....and i know i would be so much worse by now... still it doesnt make me smile... I lost my future.. and i wish i could foget many thing of my past... I dont think ive ever been loved..., and i lost the interest in anyother thign there ever was... i now wish i had a friend.. you kno wlike ones of those.. only few peopel are lucky to have... .... mmm... al that sounds so pathetic... i think i should have gone for somethign better... likei always have...like: Hello! my name i Tanya, i like to write and love to read and dance!