Just a poem to get something off my chest("let it all out" seems like an appropriate place for this post); rhymes in some parts and not others, and I'm well aware that I'm not exactly Edgar Allan Poe.. Thank you for reading and comments are welcome, even if it's only "I feel your pain" it would be much appreciated. I could use some support right now. The day you told me how you felt I wish I could have killed myself But I'm a coward, still around Not lying lifeless in the ground.. I never asked for you to be perfect Nor expected such Such a cold and lonely winter, as I sit here, old and bitter.. Maybe those commercials gave me false hope? I can still see that grin on your face As you told me my true worth in your eyes I was young and vulnerable I could have used some love Instead I know what hate is made of.. I thought that one day you might change How naive and hopeful I was.. I just wanted a little help.. But like a book that rests on a shelf You never even tried I thought you were supposed to and maybe I was wrong I thought you were supposed to be my mom You don't know how much it hurt When you let me know how much you thought I was worth I was never perfect, that is true But I could never be heartless like you I can still see that smile and it makes me smile back like a deranged fool I must have spent enough time being upset.. If it was too hard to try why did you become a mother I wonder? But there is no answer to be found.. They said family is always there for you But I question the validity of such statements.. I don't think I'll ever forget The cruel words that you have said Not in the heat of anger but ever so casually, like a mention of the weather. I was young, lonely, weak and scared I wanted comfort and none was there Now I sit and write and wonder if the thought of you is worth my time.. You never said sorry or that you were lying, surely because you weren't. Those commercials must have polluted my mind I wish I could have come home from school and got a hug and a smile I wish someone cared. I wished, and wished, and realized no one was there. I cried myself to sleep all those nights long ago, which is thankfully nothing but the past.. On a dark and lonely night, with all the pain given to the young and innocent, and all the evil in the world, I wonder why I even bother? Sometimes I still wish that I had a mother.