why post it on here? It's a support forum and everyone who joins is warned of that. If you really wanted to die then you wouldn't be on here looking for support. What I mean is when you joined you obs had some glimmer, there was something in you that made you join as you thought there was something there that there was to hold on to?
So, why not focus your energy in to getting some support. How about telling us why? What has led you to feeling like this? Have you got any support in place at the moment?