Well I just found this site while looking for methods, Im hoping this is advice and what-not? Im 16, and basically I need help, I cant fully explain this. Just briefly I'll try; Two years ago I was raped and still to this day Ive told noone and ALSO to this day I can't open up or tell people personal things its like phsically impossible for me. Ever since then Ive lost everything, Im losing my good school marks, social anxiety so I have no close friends anymore, Ive gotten an ED, lost my humour, JUST EVERYTHING. I'm such a waste. Now my family; we've always been broke pretty much, (also affected me with friends), 14 year old sister smokes/cuts/drinks/swears/is absolutely horrible to me and everyone, my mother is depressed and has threatened to kill herself, my dad is the only stable one. But heres the funny part, TO EVERYONE ELSE I'm stable. Because I cant f*cking open up, I dont think anyone cares and theres too much problems in my family to pile any more on. But recently Ive been bullied at school, and things this girl said brought back memories of being raped and I think Im breaking down. I cant stop crying, but Im not even making sound? ANYWAY, I dont know how to talk to someone (a counseller, at the hospital??) because if i dont I know I will crack and just kill myself, Im at the edge. BUT I cant tell my parents. Thanks, if anyone responds..