About to snap soon

I'm starting to worry because I think I'm finally getting to my breaking point. Up until now I've been able to think more rationally and pull myself back by thinking about my brother and my parents, the only people in my day to day life who care about me (supposedly). I'm out of motivation and I feel like crap most of the time either because I feel depressed, feel guilty about feeling depressed or feel wracked with anxiety. Not the sort of emotions I need while I go into my second year of A levels, the next few years will pretty much dictate how my life goes with uni applications and exams and all this crap I'm expected to do, and be happy about it!!! I would honestly rather die than live out the next few years without any kind of meaning in life and the urge to end it is growing ever more tempting. Today I tried (again) to tell my parents how I've been feeling but they just laughed and suggested that I was thinking too much. My last source of any motivation and it's running out. What am I supposed to do?

 

Why do you say they supposedly care? You must have a good relationship there, if your trying to hang on so you don't hurt them. Yeah?

I'm sorry they didn't understand it as well as you would have liked. It is true, when we let ourselves sit around and think too much, it can make us more depressed, if we are already that way. Doesn't help. I always figured if I had a medication to control my thoughts, it would kick that depression a good one in the ass.

Are you still in high school? Whatever career you choose, should be what you want to do, not what is expected of you. Is there something that interests you? Maybe if you could find a passion for something you want to do with your life, it would help motivate you.

Hope you get to feeling better.