Absolutely heartbroken.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lys, Sep 21, 2011.

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  1. lys

    lys New Member

    My boyfriend of a year broke up with me a week ago because he said it wasn't fair that we didn't feel the same. All this happened after I told him that I love him. I never needed him to say it back, all I wanted was for us to be happy.
    I feel like all my organs have been ripped out and stamped on. I have cried for days, and last Sunday attempted to take my own life by overdosing xxxx. My ex was the one to take me to the hospital, he has also stayed with me this week to make sure I don't do anything like that again, but today he called my brother so that he didn't have to be the one with the responsibility.
    I love him so much, and it's tearing me to pieces that he's not there for me to kiss and cuddle and talk to. He told me last night that he thinks he might be making a huge mistake, and that I'm the person he cares most about in the whole world next to his kids.

    If I can't have him, life isn't worth living. I don't want to live with this pain any longer.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2011
  2. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    Im so sorry to hear this. I can sympathise with you as my girlfriend of a year actually cheated on me with a good friend of mine and I was crushed. The following months are hell but I know everyone says it but you will meet another person. The right person you deserve, as you seem like a very loving person. And I hope everything works out for you but just dont give up on love :).
     
  3. lys

    lys New Member

    Thankyou for your support. I feel like this could be easier if he had cheated on me, or just been really awful to me. But he's been the complete opposite. I just want to rewind to a few weeks ago when we were happy.
    I want to be with him more than anything.
     
  4. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    I understand that completely =/ And if it helps I wish to that you were happy and never had to seek out this forum :p. But you sound so full of love and joy, and that has only temporarily disappeared because it was ripped from you (gone from happy to rock bottom you could say), but happiness always returns if a guy can say he loves you as much as his kids then you must be something quite special :)
     
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Be thankful the guy was honest.

    Many would say they love you - use you until the next women pops up. Very common - its a stopgap - don't be one!

    You will NEVER be happy with a guy who does not love you. Its not a one way thing - you will pick up on that - when he is with you - the level of connection you have and so on.

    You are lucky - at least you know he does not love you - and please understand - that if you put 1000 women in a room - and threw a man in there - he might not fall in love with any. Think about how many people we kind of come into contact with in life - well, when we are feeling ok and socialise.

    So this guy - i know its hard - but I applaud him because he saved you being used - and trust me - no woman wants to be used - and forget about the pressure - peer pressure - social pressure - to just have sex. Leave that for others - find love - the rest follows anyhow and means a lot more.

    People react different to love.

    The first girl I lost - I let her go - there was two men - I found out I was one - 'the best one' she said. I was raging mad for weeks - secretly - I mean - not crying about it in public - or privately.

    I've never actually cried over a woman.

    I was fine in a few weeks - maybe 6 weeks later - wished her and her man (she was pregnant) all the best - and meant it - well she was a nice girl - but lets say - excessive. Fun - but risky. Actually matured with the kids - and her man - gone downhill - they have an 'arrangement'. But she would not have needed to pull that with me.

    Another time - I fell for her big time. Seconds after meeting. I was on a high - 17 - a bit shy but - in my town - that means I might wait a few hours before dropping my trousers on the dance floor.

    So - fell so deep I was coming out in Australia and asking kangeroos for help.

    She fell for another women - so - it hurt - but maybe two weeks later I accepted it - and thought it might be - three of us - lol - but when I met her woman - the woman hated me on sight. I mean - I don't get that - ever - apart from gangs of men - who just hate anyone passing by - it not personal. This WAS personal. So - I had to leave.

    Then - oh I don't know - you come to a point were you understand that love is not a one way thing - also - got to say it - some women want to manipulate men and use us - it happens - and whilst I love women in general - and usually always find saving graces - and see the inner beauty - I'd be a naive idiot if I never said that for us men - here - with depression and maybe some kind of fragile heart - there are three parts of the body which are factors.

    No 1 - the heart.

    No 2 - the head

    No 3 - lads - guys - lets be honest here - if no 3 is leading you - then your thrown in the deep end and your head and heart - won't have a say.

    I usually find that its easy to know what is best for you -- by simply taking a few hours out - maybe take a walk - but clear you mind of all the passion - all the romance - dreams and notions . Then suddenly throw the question at yourself "is this the right thing"

    ANYONE out there - you got a question about love - are they right for you?

    Clear your mind - play some hard rock music - nit sugary love songs - take a walk - shower - think about other things - then after a few hours throw that question and answer right away - in a milisecond

    This means you will think the answer - thought comes before words.

    Hey - I'm not saying this is the be all and end all - but most times - in life - a new job - a women - an opportunity - maybe a risk - I go through that process.

    Never failed me yet - though sometimes your shocked - but - you got to let the head rule the heart and let them negotiate also. No 3 - that will just say "go for it".

    For women - introduce lover boy to 20 mates - family and passing strangers to assess.

    Then you can hold hands and watch the sunset - whatever else happens is of course private - and given that sex is the most intimate you can ever be with any person - be VERY fussy who you actually do it with.

    sometimes people can agree there is not love and have an affair - but with depression - that is hard to do - we need the emotional connection more than most - and its important we are careful about our personal lives.

    love is always a risk - but if you fall in love with someone who does not reciprocate - its like talking to someone who does not listen.

    lys - it feels like its tearing you apart - but its not - check your arms and legs - still there? good!

    not belittling what you say - I know it hurts - but you say this man has kids? And you are the person he cares the most about apart from his kids?

    Well - the mother of these kids might not see things that way.

    As for you - your young no? Well - let me tell you - Christmas is coming - you will forget about this man by then UNLESS he introduced you to his kids and his ex. Also - he'd have to say he loves you - because a man saying he cares for you - we care for our mobile phones also - we care about cars - see what I'm saying?

    If he loves you - he will have introduced you to the family - or are you just kind of with him? I mean does he take you out?

    I mean to his local pub?

    A man who loves you is going to do all that and a lot more.

    OF its just a fling were its basically staying at your place - sometimes - whenever? That is were man can control a woman - get into her head - promise the moon and nobody is there to say "he promised me mars last week".

    Well - maybe the guy is sincere - but you got to test that - NEVER just let a man stroll into you life without making sure that sucker is given the third degree.

    Has he asked to meet your family for example?

    Sorry to point out some 'negatives' - but if you walk away now you wil forget him and hopefully have a nice date by Christmas - and take a few weeks at least getting to know him - NEVER let a man move in unless you've known him - 2 years in my book.

    Hope this helps - and it may work out - but true love - if its there now it will be there in 6 months time. So - a good tactic for you as a woman - would be to ignore this man - concentrate on getting better. If he turns up - make him wait - but get better - think about what I said about letting your head ask a few important questions - first answer in your mind - quite good IF your mind is clear - but no good if your worrying and fretting over someone or something.

    Sorry you got hit so hard - maybe pick a man with no kids next time - well - what about you having a family of your own?

    Not sure of your age but best having kids young if you can - a man who already has kids might be great - but he best have a good job and wage to keep two families.

    Regards hope there are positive in there for you - wash your hair! - that always chills a girl out a little!

    I'm sure many men out there will likely treat you better than this one has so far. Maybe he is honest not saying he loves you - but I think its damage limitation time.

    A few days - you will feel less pain.

    Tomorrow - keep busy.

    Think about STUFF you need to do - not being with Mr Probably not Right in a million Years.

    Tidy up - wash - mow the lawn - anything - maybe work?

    See your mates - tell them - or talk to woman here about guys with kids who don't love the mother of their kids - but don't let you meet them!

    sorry for the excess of info - well its what I do - and by the end of my posts I think some are dazed and confused - and think "what was my problem again?"

    Maybe you will smile also - and the sign of a good romance is a lot of laughter. A woman who does not laugh - with me - needs laughing gas or something.

    I'm 46 (he lied) and still dye my hair green. Last week someone asked me if i was having a midlife crisis - I said "No - I'm just hitting you with an ashtray because I'm having a second teenagehood'

    mid-life crisis is a bullsh** excuse guys give for basically cheating. It was not me - it was this mid life crisis pushed me into the bed with her and MADE me do something I'd never do - sob - midlife crisis my ass!

    You liars! I'm mid life and the only crisis I had was - getting my electric bill. 32 and a half is official mid-life.

    I'm just a regular guy with a suicidal heart and a head that overrules it every time.

    Heart says jump - head says no - the other part says 'thanks head - but for you I'd be a goner.

    Regards.
     
  6. thedon131

    thedon131 New Member

    I know how u feel very similar to me just.about 4 weeks ago I tried to end it at work and I still cant see an end to the pain ive got right now we should talk we could maybe help each other trough all our pains
     
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