Absolutely nothing to look forward to

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whoami, Sep 2, 2010.

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  1. whoami

    whoami Member

    What is the point of living when there is nothing at all to look forward to? I don't enjoy anything. I have been deeply depressed for a very long time and I don't think it will ever go away. I have been alone for a long time. I don't have friends to do things with, or parties to go to on the weekends. I am so jealous of people that enjoy their lives. I do everything alone, and I don't enjoy anything.

    There just isn't anything to look forward to at all. I have zero hope. All it's going to be is 50+ more years of this. I can't change it. I am defeated and I just want to close my eyes and fade into oblivion.
  2. xfootballer

    xfootballer Member

    hello there i can completly relate to what your going through. I'm in college now and just can not bring myself to study or do any work because life in general just seems so pointless and aimless to me.
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Wow, talk about mirroring everything literally word for word. Sorry for this short and meaningless post, but I completely feel you.

    You especially feel guilty and worse when your "supposed" to enjoy these years of your life, your early 20s, and all your peers are doing just that. You feel like the only one being miserable and alone. Your not supposed to be miserable, sad and thinking about killing yourself, your supposed to be having the time of your god-damn life! :sad:
  4. linszoid

    linszoid Member

    I'm in the exact same boat.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi whoami and welcome to SF. One can learn to enjoy doing things alone. I only have 2 true friends and I enjoy spending time by myself. It gives me some peace and quiet. All that I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't let a lack of friends be a reason to end your life. Live for yourself. Never give up. :hug:
  6. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I feel exactly the same way.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

  8. xfootballer

    xfootballer Member

    well i have zero friends too, i live with my sister and her friend and they are both rarely home so i pretty much live by myself and i've found that, other than the times that i'm out of mind crazy and depressed, i enjoy being alone. Nothing is better than cooking myself a nice dinner and curling up with a good book on a friday night, yeah thats how awesome i am, so don't feel like your the only one who has no one to talk to or do things with on the weekends because i'm right there with you
  9. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I enjoy being alone too. I had to learn that by the fact of meeting people and they hurt me. I tried to make friends, but really what for. They take up your wasted time and money and can they really be with you when you need them?

    I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone I could turn to, laugh with, enjoy outings but these are fairytales we wish can happen. I tell you, independence is great. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, without having to report to someone.
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I don't see the point in living either.
  11. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Yup, that's been my motto too "NOthing to look forward to" but even if, I'd be depressed ......have you been like this most of your life? Did you have friends before?

    This is all I know since 3 yrs old and I am 35 now. I look at "happy" people engaging and I don't get it.....
  12. I understand what you're going through, I think. I often feel like people have something that I don't have, and I assume, that is happiness. I feel like I am on the outside looking in, almost like I am subhuman because I feel so incapable of feeling what these people seem to feel...but there have been moments in my life that I felt that way too, and that's the only hope I have that one day, I might feel that way again. Right now, for me, it's get through life one moment at a time, and that's the only thing that keeps me alive, but for now it's working. I know it can be hard to think about the happy times, but maybe just imagine that you create your fate and happiness and such...maybe you could create a different life for yourself, one where you are happy and have hope? I'm struggling right now, and I'm trying this in my life.
    I'm definately a loner and I've always been very alone. I've found that, even though I'd rather be alone, sometimes, it actually does make me feel better to go be around people, even if they are strangers. I'm not sure what else might help, but I hope we figure it out...I'm sending feel better vibes your way.
  13. dizzylife

    dizzylife New Member

    I guess I feel the same way too. I lost my job a couple of months ago. Then I lost someone very close to me and who meant the world to me. Before that in the last few years, I lost a lot of people -all natural causes.

    I just don't know what to do. For some strange reason, I am shooting down any job offer that comes my way. That is so not me, I am out there, hitting up contacts. I just see the whole thing as pointless. I could get another job and be laid off again and then again and I could fall in love and they could die and then one fine day I die too.

    I was also raised in different cultures and so realize everything is just a belief. I don't know what to do. I wouldn't say I am suicidal. But just pondering about the meaning of life and the temporal nature of all things. Just wondering why should I put in the effort and do things, when it will disappear anyways? So I just sit in my home, just going out for a meal occasioanlly and have shut myself off from everyone.

    I guess my idea of life has been shattered and like Humpty Dumpty, it looks like I can't put it back together. I am still single, and in my 30s and now I feel I want to be married and have kids-which I never had the desire for before and yet I just don't have the courage to do anything except sit at home and surf the internet all day. Which is how I found this forum and so that is good-I didn't realize there were other people like me.

    I guess I have always put my heart into things-wether that be work or personal. Now suddenly I realize everything ebbs and flows, I can't put my heart into it. I mean you can fall in love and they can die the next day or 50 yrs from now . My job was very good and just the economy and I met so many people in their 50s who had been laid off and some even lost their homes and I wonder why go to work if that is what I am looking into the future.

    Perhaps I am only looking at the negative things . But I wasn't like this before. I guess it was slowly building with the death of so many people I knew and me being raised in two very different cultures and then job loss and the death of the one very close to me pushed me over the edge. I am ok, just seem to have lost the will to live-lost the purpose. I am searching for something to matter again, something to make me want to get up and go out and make aliving again and just don't know how to find it. In the meanwhile, as the months have dragged on and I have locked myself in the house, I wonder if I should just end it-for what is the difference to this world if I end it today or it ends naturally 50 yrs from now? I don't think I am seriously suicidal, but just pondering these things.
  14. whoami

    whoami Member

    Thanks for responding. I wish I knew what to do about this. :(
  15. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    It's a tedious existence my friend, and you're not alone.
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